A Masked Madness

 I am supposed to help police the wearing of the masks in our school - actually all of our staff are supposed to police that, make sure the kids are socially distancing and wearing the masks correctly.  It is one of the most difficult things to do, and I certainly don't want to get anyone in trouble for not wearing a mask.   One student a few weeks ago came in and threw his mask on the bench and said "Im not wearing it anymore - suspend me I don't care!  Im not wearing it!"  He couldnt see that I was laughing a little under my mask because I have felt that way often recently.  He talked to his mom and put his mask back on and went back to class.  Alls well that ends well I guess.

Sometimes I dont see that they arent wearing a mask because I am mesmerized by their beautiful smile and the wholeness of their wonderful faces.  I choose only to see the good and the beauty of that maskless moment.  Sometimes I don't want to see that they arent wearing a mask, because their faces are so beautiful.

Mrs Barney wearing her hard hat and mask being the "safest worker in the hood"!

Then I have to put on my "masked game face" and make them put a mask on.  We start over at every break because the kids aren't wearing them at home, and really dont want to put them on when they come back - its a whole retraining again.  I made more than 300 masks in 2020.  Most to give, some to keep, and a few for emergency use just in case.  Put it in your pocket and save it for later.

Even our dogs freak out if I put a mask on at home - even to see if it fits.  One goes and lays down in the dog beds and the other one spins circles and can't figure out if he should fight or flight or hide or.... spin circles! Above photo is actually Brix hiding from fireworks over New Years, but the premise is the same for mask wearing!  I got freaking Darth Vader on Hockey skates all the time in the house and this dog barks at mama in a mask!  Go Figure!

One student who is a transfer student from our school - he rides one of our buses and then gets on his school but at our school, I was struggling to recognize with his mask on  and of course he always wears a hat before school too - and I would ask him his name every day for a week - maybe longer.  I recognized his eyes, but the mask took his smile away and his name just wouldnt come.  He would always reply "Its me,Mrs Humphreys! MT".  After the first week I started asking him as a joke because I recognized him with the mask on, but I forgot that he could not see me smiling under my mask!  He was sad and asked me "will you ever recognize me again?" I laughed and said - "I know who you are!  I just forgot that you couldn't see that I was joking with you!"  Now it is a funny little joke we have between us and he gets it every time - sometimes he laughs and tells me his name even though I have said his name already.  A way to connect and personalize something that has taken some of the personality out of our world by covering up faces and personalities and smiles.

Me and Mrs Reese with our "miss you" sign - last year before we were able to be open all the time.  No kids in the building and we were still masked to the eyebrows!

I know that this is what I have to do, for my job and to keep my job and hopefully it really is to keep everyone safe, but I sure hope it is gone soon and we can wear our smiles, our love and our wholeness and broken ness loud and proud for all to see.

Blessed Be and be safe!

Go the F*&k to Sleep!

 Many of you know I am not a great sleeper!  I plan, I try, I take "the stuff".  I go to bed early so I can wind down and go to sleep before I have to get up.  Everything works great for a little while - until it doesn't any more.  There are a couple of times a year when I have nightmares, or when sleep just isn't going to happen just because it is that time of the year.  New Years is one of those times, and I have been especially struggling during this time of Covid lockdowns and the fear that has created.

I have been told that I do a little dream travelling at night - a few of my magical friends have asked if I can go "out of body" at will - at this time I cannot, but apparently I do it in my sleep sometimes.  I have woke up their chickens so to speak.  I always thought it was a dream until one of my friends described exactly how our visit went to me?!? Yikes. I have also had full conversations and fights in my sleep.  So far no sleepwalking and I hope that never happens!

Sometimes I feel like I am so tired that I won't need anything to sleep - but as soon as I hit the pillow, the brain turns on, or the dogs bark, or I fall asleep for 20 minutes and then the neighbors shoot fireworks, or work on a snow machine, or..... any number of things that are not in my control.  

I accidentally found a recipe that will knock me out - at least to get to sleep and have a few hours of restful sleep!  I say accidentally because I wasnt trying to use this recipe as a sleep aid, just a bath tub pain relief.  It was a bonus round that they also help with insomnia!

One of them was this lovely Vervain oil in a carrier of light jojoba oil.  I had been using it on my feet as a pain reliever and moisturizer for my feet and ankles.  Hands and knees too when I needed to.  I have a bit of arthritis from some broken bones and missing cartelage.  It worked wonders for that.

I also had some Vetiver bath salts that I was down to the last little teaspoon of that I had been using for the same purpose, and it is also purported to be a help for anxiety and insomnia.  So, I was at wits end one night and hurting, and cold so my joints were hurting.  I decided to take a hot bath to warm up and to help me hopefully sleep.  So I mixed the bath salts and some the Vervain oil with a little extra Epsom salts and had a hot warming soak.

My head hit the pillow and I was out for the count!  I think I slept for six whole hours without waking, which is a long time for me!  I use this when I am desperate for sleep - I cant always take a soak at night.  Lots of reasons why.

So I mixed some of it up as a bath salt (I did not use the kind with the jojoba oil - it makes the tub slippery), to give as gifts for Christmas for my peeps who don't sleep!  Super simple to mix up and it works great!  I tried it a second and third time to make sure.

Start with a glass bowl, some coarse epsom salts, and some Vetiver, Vervain, and Lavender oils.  Mine are all DoTerra except the Verbena which is by Edens Garden.  You will also need a small glass dish, toothpick, and I use a plastic bread paddle to stir the products together.  I use a couple of glass iced tea jars for the bath salts, they have great lids and they look nice when full.  Ziplock bag works just fine for storage too.

In your glass bowl place about 3 cups of the Epsom salts.  Some folks also like to add baking soda also but my skin does not love that so I dont use it - feel free if you would like to.  You can also use the fine and coarse salts mixed too.

In your small glass dish, mix 10 drops each of the oils and mix them with the toothpick.

Drizzle the oils into the epsom salts and stir with the paddle.  I scoop the salts into the small glass dish also to get every drop!  No sense in letting it go to waste!

Once the salts are mixed well, I use a funnel to pour the salts into the jars - makes less mess on the countertops!  Also less spilled salt to throw over your left shoulder!

Any jar will work - even a mason jar that you can seal well.  This little jar is some extra that wouldn't fit into my tall "giveaway" jars.

I put on a "fancy" label, including the ingredients and the uses of the oils - in this case sleep and pain relief, and also just in case there are allregies for the receiver of the gift.

Dress them up with some ribbon and they are ready to gift!  Make sure you keep some for yourself too!

Blessed Be - now go the f^&k to sleep!

The Worst Year

 2020 has been a heck of a year!  We have all heard and seen the horrors of 2020.  All of the anxiety, the strife of the election and the Covid illness rate and of the losses of lives, businesses, families, culture and sense of security even, and as we move into 2021 I think we are all releived to be here on the cusp of the new year.  We have heard many say that this was the worst year ever, but as I reflected on the year that has just passed I have to say that it was far, far and
away not my worst year.  Not.  Even. Close!

Photo Credit Ron Nicoll Photography

All of the loss mothers will tell you that 2020 was not their worst year, unless 2020 was the year that took their child.  They will all say that their worst year was the year that their child died.  

Mine is 2016.  The. Very. Worst. Year.  The year that Rye was taken and turned our lives upside down and sideways with no explanation and no reason.

Photo Credit Chugach Peaks Photography

I have other memories of that year - Meemaw (Hubby's Gramma) came for Rye's wedding and we got really good family pictures there at Alyeska.  

We had a fun trip to New Jersey - our last family trip with Rye.

Hubby's mom was still living then, fighting the cancer as hard as she could. 

We went on 4th of July and made many memories with Rye and all the kids at the cabin.

Reed grew healthy and got taller than everyone, and got his Alaska Fish Guiding license.

There were some things to be grateful for in that year.

But it was the very worst year ever for me, and even with the good things whenever I hear 2016 it hits me like a ton of bricks and makes me forget my own name.  It takes me right back to that place in time when the phone rang and ended life as we knew it!

For me, 2020 was just a regular year, no better no worse than all of the others except for 2016.  There were things to be grateful for this year as well.  

Reed is working and thriving and living and doing great and wonderful things, with friends and family!

We were considered "essential" both for our business and for my job so we got to keep working.

My family was able to be mostly healthy, and those who got Covid survived it.

I was able to quilt more this year than ever before because we had to stay home.

One of my Covid scrap quilts - you will see this later in the blog with a description.

I got to write some of the things that I needed to say out loud and maybe never to anyone in person, just have it on the paper and out of my head, threatening my life.  Paper emotional vomit.  Like this, only darker and more intense.  Yes it is there -still - from 2016; the very worst year.

I saw many "gratefulness challenges" on social media pages in 2020 to remind us that there was light in the darkness and hope on the horizon.  That there were people there for us, holding us up and holding us in hope. I was grateful for those posts also.  These are from a friend at the end of the year - one whose struggle is also very real and physical, emotional, spiritual and hard.

Some of my young friends got first houses and had first babies, and while bittersweet for me it was wonderful to see them so joyful.

So as you reflect on your 2020, I hope that it did not go down as your worst year and that you are able to see some of the good that came with all the crazy, and as we ease into 2021 I hope that you are blessed with your best year ever!

Dream Big and Blessed Be!

Of Wonder and Light

Our local NANA Construction company is company that makes (builds) North Slope Oil Field equipment and housing modules.  They provide local jobs to our community and  they also support the community in other ways.  A couple of weeks ago I was driving by and saw their crane set up and holding a strange contraption.  Being in the drilling industry I can recognize a lot of the equipment that gets built and held by a crane, but this I did not recognize!

This sits on Big Lake Road. The main road into our community and the one just about everyone takes to get into Big Lake.  Hundreds of cars per day pass this contraption.

I looked underneath and though it was a cage of some type.  Maybe a new fangled crab trap or other marine net trap?  It hung there for a few days until.....

They lit it up!  Literally lit it up!

A Beautiful lighted contribution to the community for all to see and enjoy. 

Happy New Year and Blessed Be!