A Final Random Act of Kindness

As the holidays approach (Thanksgiving is passed now) there has been a lot of talk about "Random Acts of Kindness" online and in the news, and I have been thinking about that a lot.  The holidays are really, really hard here at our house and I have to really try hard to see the beauty and the good of the season when I am really feeling the  missing members of our family now.

There are all types of random acts of kindness.  Carrying groceries, shoveling snow, paying it forward for someone in a line behind you,  or paying it forward literally to someone in line ahead of you who cant pay for all of their groceries!   

Rye was an organ donor.  Today because of him two people have sight.  Because of the way in which he passed (unknown cause of death/unsure diagnosis) they were unable to use his other organs, but today, two people have the literal gift of sight.  I recently discovered that a friend of mine is a surgeon who does the "harvesting" of the corneal and eye tissue from donors when they pass.  I probably knew that before Rye passed but the grief fog makes you forget tons of things that should be remembered.  I am blessed to know that her hands were chosen for fulfilling this amazing gift.  The last "random act of kindness" that you or your loved one can bestow upon people in the world who are sometimes literally in the fight for their lives!

Photo credit - Chugach Peaks Photography - Those beautiful eyes.

I sometimes wonder if I will ever meet either of the people who have Rye's eyes now?  Will I recognize him in them?  Will they know how much we all gave for their sight?  Probably not, but I know a loss mother who got to meet the person who got her sons heart when he passed.  She got to hear her sons heart beat again.  I will be happy with a secret wink!

In 2018, more than 450 relatives of organ donors declined permission to donate because they were unsure of their relatives wishes to donate!  I know why - it isnt because we are unsure of their wishes do donate - I knew Rye wanted to be an organ donor the same as I knew he wanted to be cremated, but it is an excruciating decision!   We had to make the decision quickly (within 24 hours - maybe shorter) so as not to "lose the viability of the tissue".  I remember being on the phone with the organ donation group and hesitating - even though I knew that he wanted to be a donor - my mothers brain and my mother heart were both certain that this was all just a terrible nightmare and that I would wake up to Rye doing "Stewie"  - "Mom! Mom! Mom! MAAMM! Mommy! Mommy!" (He always thought that was hilarious), and of course the still rational part of my screaming brain knew would never happen.  

It took every ounce of energy that I had to say "Yes - do it!" to that lady and to have my friend help me to receive the fax papers and send them back to them with the signatures on them saying "Yes - do it"! and when it was over I went into the house and I laid on the couch in "my spot" and I howled and cried and the tears would not stop and I didn't want them to.  I wanted them to make me liquid so that I could flow away and go wherever my child went.  That dreamland where maybe there really is no pain and no suffering, because it certainly wasn't here.

I wasn't sad about the decision to donate - I knew that was a good thing and there was relief in the saying Yes to that, but it made it that much more real and final for us.  The final Random Act of Kindness from my son that broke this mothers heart, but gave two people sight.  Be a donor.  Be blessed.