The Sixth Year - That Which Has Been My Delight!

I have started and re-started this post a hundred times now - trying to grab the fleeting moments of clarity that occur on this day - the day you were stolen from us so harshly six years ago.  

1st birthday - a wagon and lots of balloons that you loved!

I am tired of loss.  I am exhausted from keeping up the faces and facades.  I am tired to my soul. It seems that just when I get my feet under me and I am feeling like I have strength to go on, another wave of loss hits.  Or another loss is had.    We have survived 6 years without you now and sometimes it feels like yesterday still that you left.  YES  I KNOW!!!  YOU DIED!  You didn't leave, pass on , go away, go around the corner.  You died.  It still sits on my shoulders and whispers in my ear every day! 

You now have some more friends there from this side of the veil....Gramma Morgan, Ripley, Todd, "Big Mike", and the baby who came to you without a name.  I'm certain I know who it is and I am even more saddened for his parents who have to walk this path of loss now too.  Just a few of the losses we have had this year.  All so freaking hard.

The bear hat that we couldn't go anywhere without.

I always try to honor you on these days - I have talked about that before in posts, trying to honor you somehow...even just looking at pictures, doing things you liked, or doing good out in the world.  So far all I have accomplished today is keeping the dogs from fighting over a stupid bone (that Brix doesn't even really want - he just doesn't want Ike to have it), and taking a nap! And writing this I guess too.  Im counting it!

I don't fish, but I would love to go read a book while you boys fish today!  I miss Rye and Reed- brothers together - even when you run me over with a trailer and crash me in the Razr and everyone laughs. I miss Rye and Reed and the Fellas too.

I miss all of it so so much.  I miss you so so much! All of us here do, even your damn dog!  The people who always reach out to me on these days miss you and remember you with us.  I appreciate them so much for that.  Remembering that you existed.  I miss the Rye Sign.

So today, although I am once again writing my pain, I am also remembering you, remembering things we did and planned that we never got to do.  Through my tears is also delight that we got to have you at all, for any time. "When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you will see that in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Khalil Gibran.   I am weeping, for that which has been my delight and that which has caused me such pain.  It is year 6 without you here and I weep often, but this time is really the first time that I could see that it was also my delight.  We March into year 7.....blessed be.

Brix and Naughty Ike Ride Again!

It has been an eventful summer here in the Burg and Brix and Ike have been having a heyday trying to keep up with it all!  As you may have read in my last post "Why is it so Friggin Hot here" it has been really friggin hot here! 80's almost every day and one day in the low 90's which is really too hot for the Humphreys - and their dogs!

Even though we live lakeside, when it gets this hot the dogs don't really like to go in the lake very much - and when they do they end up getting the barfers!  I think the heat lets some bacteria grow that isn't there when it is cooler! So we got a kiddie pool for the dogs - mostly Ike because Brix will swim anyway, he just wades and doesnt drink the lake water. Ike however, does not like to swim and really did not like to get his belly wet even!  He would go in  just until the water touched his tummy and then bolt out like a rocket!  

So we set up the kiddie pool and put it in the shade of the Rowan tree and we tried to get him to play in it.  He would drink from it and wander around it and paw at the water, but he would not go in!  I had to go in and water the greenhouse and when I came back out......

Kiddie pool down!!!  He was using it as his own personal frisbee and flipping it around the yard like a kite instead of a 48" round pool!  NOT COOL IKE!!

Then he was mad that it wouldn't hold water!

So we tried again.... 

Meet the 48" "Dog Proof Pool"!  Ordered from Amazon after a cousin showed her son and his dog rough housing on one just like it - she also has a big dog that may or may not have destroyed one of the plastic ones like Ike did!

Fun in the sun is so much better now that he can safely cool off without the lake touching his belly!  He will play for a bit in the water then lay down in the sun for a few minutes - back and forth, until....

Ike sleeping after a long day at the pool- yes on my pillows!  Arrgh!

His favorite sleeping spot (after my pillows) has been the space right in front of the oven!  During the fall and winter when the furnace is on, the floor there is nice and warm from the heat zones that run through that part of the floor.  In the summer, anytime I cook the whole area around the oven warms up.  Brix has much thicker fur that Ike so he is not about laying in front of the oven.  He does sometimes like the warm floor in the winter though.   Always sleeping upside down, like a two year old!

They really are handsome boys arent they?  I did a Paint Night with Sara a couple of weeks ago and it was a "Paint your Pet" event! Reeds girl Keyona got us going to it and it was super fun!  This was my photo that I sent (above) so that they could put it on the canvas for me and help me paint.  See below for the finished product!  If you get a chance - do the paint night (or day) - learning this new craft was really fun and good for me to get out of my comfort zone for a minute!

Sara did help me do the eyeballs and the whiskers on Brix.  I could not get the line on the nose right either - those are tough for a first timer!  I did finally get the brown patch on Ike's chest right finally - it full on started out looking like a uterus!  Ugh!! I have this sitting on the shelf in my office now and its so nice to be able to see the boys during work too!

Ike does not always want to listen to me, and this is mostly the look he gives me.  Since he doesnt really have a middle finger - ya know?  Brix was in this picture but he doesn't want to be associated with the middle finger tongue giver so he tries to sneak out of the photos!  It's hard to get them both looking at the camera!  We are working on manners, and on understanding our own size as well - Ike does not know he is bigger than everyone - including Brix!  

I hope your summer is just how you like it and that you have a little funny Naughty for that parts that aren't!

Blessed Be - Stay Cool!