Of Ike and Men- the adventure begins!

Every once in a while it seems like the fates throw something good and unexpected (although maybe challenging) into our lives - and this time it threw us a friend for Brix as well!  Meet Ike! 

Ike is about 12 weeks old in this picture and weighs 29 pounds!  He is part American Bulldog and part Bull Mastiff.  He will be huge!  The vet says he will probably weigh between 115 and 120 pounds by the time he is one year old!  Holy Cow Hubby brough home a serious dog!

And he gave him to me for Valentines day!

The runt of the litter, Ike was living with a friend who had two of these dogs.  He had a stroke and the family decided they could only keep one of the puppies and so....

Check those feet! They are huge!

He is a very snuggly baby though and has no idea of his own size!

He is also a pretty good sleeper most of the time....although sometimes his middle of the night ends up being in the middle of the day and vice versa!  Its like having a two year old!  He also cries when he is going to sleep - he will be so tired but he doesnt want to go to sleep so he tries to keep himself awake by crying.  So pitiful!

He is a great little big friend for Brix too, especially since we had to put Ripley down and Brix had been so lonely.  Brix has been a somewhat reluctant friend most of the time starting out.  He is not sure he wants a friend who lives with us - he wants all the treats and attention for himself!

 Ike also keeps Brix and us really moving a lot more often than we were though.  Not a bad thing!

This is what Brix looked like waiting for Ripley right after we helped her cross the rainbow bridge- he would wait on the porch for hours, like she was going to come down the driveway at any time.

Sewing has had to change a bit since Ike likes to sleep right on my feet and sometimes on the sewing machine presser foot!  He has made a tangle of my machine thread a number of times - just trying to get comfortable under the table or chair.

His first visit to the Vet and they got out a cheese board and put some of the spray cheese on it to keep him busy while they gave him his vaccinations!  I laughed so hard!  He never even noticed anything while he was attacking the cheese!  He really likes the Vet!

Brix has his "spot" on the couch in our "movie watching positions" and Ike had wanted to have a "spot" also.... We had to make a rule that we couldn't have both dogs on the couch on top of me at the same time!  I nearly drowned in dog!

Brix is getting more used to him after a few weeks now and doesn't mind that he wants to share the blankets!

Ike sits very well and is very "food motivated".  Aren't they cute!  Winter is not the ideal time for house training a puppy, but we are working on it!  He is slowly getting the hang of things, and we are learning to close doors before we leave.

Gramma G lets him on the couch with her.  This was when he was only 32 pounds and she could pick him up.

This is a few weeks later at 45 pounds!  Hubby helped him onto her lap!  She still likes Ike!

We all like Ike - even though he does chew some shoes and the bathroom rugs, and we came home the other night and it looked like they had thrown a "frat party" in the house!  

He has been a blessing, and we are actually looking forward to having adventures with him and Brix again.  Stay tuned for the further adventures of Brix and Ike - there will be many!

  May you have easy days and many blessings.

Blessed Be!

One Big Goose Egg and a Cheerful Heart!

This is a long post, bear with me, it is worth it! One of my lifesaving things is baking.  Besides quilting, baking soothes the ragged heart and the savage beast.  Plus, I am a bread girl!  I don't care what anyone says - life without bread is not a life!

I am always looking for good bread recipes, and hubby and I also enjoy fresh local eggs as well so we keep on speed dial, the egg guy!  It turns out that our egg guy is also a bread guy and has shared with me his "goose egg bread" recipe.  

Meet Father Kamilos.  Greek Orthodox, farmer, bread maker, friend and teacher!  An amazing, and very caring and non-judgmental man.  One of the least judgmental people I have ever met - even though he is a "Father" in the religious sense of the word.  Doesn't matter what religion you might be, he doesn't judge, try to change you, and he sees the good.  Gentle and kind, he has the kind of energy that draws all ages of people to him and his soft words.  He is also mostly deaf, so the fact that he speaks softly is really another part of his gifts.  

He doesn't just raise chickens, he also has ducks, geese, turkey, and I think goats?  Might have had a donkey at one point in time!  The adventures of the K's Farm are often hilarious.  I so enjoy the stories about all of the animals and the people there.  He occasionally has extra goose eggs and I have had the good fortune to be able to get some of them.

Above photo shows three goose eggs in a bowl with a regular chicken egg.  It is not a small chicken egg either - really is regular sized!

So....Father K has let us know that this is his last semester with us as a "regular teacher" as he has been called by his Bishop to go and travel and do good works out in the rest of the world, not just in our school building.  I cried a little when I heard it, but then he gave me a little story to ponder while I bake my grief goose egg bread, from the recipe that he gave me.  

Place 4 cups of flour in your mixing bowl and 2 heaping tsp. of yeast.  Mix together dry.  

Father K was a little disheartened when he had to choose to go away from the school and the people and the kids, and to put on his travelling hat and see more of the world.  He and his wife went to speak with a friend (also a priest I believe), and his wife - Matcha, meaning "little mother".

Heat 1/2 c (one stick) butter, 1&1/4 C of milk (I use whole milk), 4 Tbsp sugar, and a teaspoon of salt until it reaches 120-130 degrees.  I do this in the microwave in a 2 cup glass measuring cup, about 20 seconds at a time.  If you do it for too long in the nuker it will scorch the milk.

I use a retractable battery powered thermometer to check the temp.  The temperature is critical to make the bread raise correctly.

As "Matcha" listened to the pro's and con's of the leaving of the school, Matcha listened carefully, with a small smile on her face and a thoughtful look.  She could tell Father K was sad about this calling, but also excited to be called and to serve.

When the milk mixture is the correct temperature, turn on the mixer and slowly pour the mixture into the dry.  It will be very sticky and you may have to stop and scrape it back down into the bowl a time or two.  

Once combined, break your goose egg (or four chicken eggs, or two duck eggs) into the glass measure and beat it up a little.  This will also heat the eggs up a bit without cooking them!

Once that is done, pour the egg into the mixture while the mixer is going and let it mix well.

Matcha asked a few questions to see how serious Father K thought this situation was - she may have made them some tea.

Add enough flour to equal about 5 & 1/2 Cups, or to make a beautiful, slightly sticky dough.

Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface until it is elastic and does not stick to your hands (3-5 minutes).  

There is always a tricky part to every story and to every loaf of bread, and for me and bread it is getting it to raise right.  

So I use the tools I have and create the heat where I need it.  I heat up water in the cast iron skillet and put my glass raising bowl into the water.  It holds the heat for long enough to raise the bread without "par cooking it"

Matcha gave Father K a look and began.....

Put the ball of beautiful dough into the raising bowl and cover with a warm, damp tea towel.  Let raise until double - in my house that is about 2 hours.

"Peter", (Father K's first name), Matcha said, "Sometimes we are called to do things we do not wish to do, or that we are reluctant to do, but we must do them with a smiling face and a cheerful heart.  That is all it takes to make good things happen!"

Once the first raise is done, divide the dough into three equal pieces, and roll each into a rectangle about 1" thick.  Then starting from one of the short sides, roll the dough into a "cinnamon roll" style roll and put them into your bread pans.  Cover the loaves with a damp towel and let them rise again until they have filled the pans and are over the top a bit.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

A "smile and a cheerful heart".  That is all it takes......

There are only two loaves here, yes, I saved the third to make some cinnamon rolls.  This dough works beautifully for that as well!

Fill a small pan or an oven safe bowl with water.  I use my mini loaf pan.  Set it in with the loaves. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes.  Let cool on a wire rack and then enjoy with a smile and a cheerful heart!

For those who are still with me - and now that we have solved the worlds problems,  I am putting the whole recipe below so you can copy and paste if you would like.  The above with the story is for the half recipe.  

Egg Bread

Full Recipe:

9 1/2 - 10 1/2 C all purpose flour

2 Pkg (41/2 tsp) active dry yeast

2 1/2 C Milk

6 Tbsp Sugar

2 scant tsp salt

4 eggs ( I am assuming these are regular chicken eggs)

Half Recipe:

4.5 - 5.5 C flour

2 heaping tsp yeast

1 1/4 C milk

4 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp salt

3 chicken, 2 duck, or 1 goose egg

In a mixer bowl, combine 4 cups of the flour and the yeast.

Heat milk, sugar, butter, and salt together to 120-130 * F.  Add to flour mixture and beat until combined.  Add eggs and beat for 3 minutes.

Stir in enough of the remaining flour to make a soft dough.  Turn it out onto a floured surface and knead 3-5 minutes or until smooth and elastic. Place dough in bowl, cover with wet tea towel and let rise in a warm place for an hour.

Turn risen dough out onto a lightly floured surface, divide into three pieces.  Roll one piece out into a rectangle shape, then roll up starting with short end.  Place into greased 8"x4" bread pan.  Repeat with remaining dough.

Cover loaf pans with wet tea towel and let rise in warm place until doubled.  About 30 minutes.

Bake in preheated 350*F oven for 25-30 minutes or until nicely browned and the smell from the kitchen puts a smile on our face.  Remove loaves and cool on wire rack.

Blessed be and may you have a smiling face and a cheerful heart always!  Father K, you will be sorely missed when you are not subbing with us!

The Honor of a Birthday...

 Today you are 29.  29 years today that I became a mother, and 5 years 5 months and 27 days since you were taken away.  Each year we try to think of ways that we can honor your birth and birthday, and each year it seems we are left struggling through the day, just missing you fiercely!

There is no cake and candles, or dinner and drinks.  That seems to be such a celebration of what we are missing and we are not able to do that yet.

This year I had a grand plan!  I would honor you with your favorite sport!  Hockey!  Pond Hockey to be exact!  It was all a go - 22 rinks, 120+ teams, and more cars that we could possibly park!  Busy for days!

  Your brother and all your friends were to be there playing and enjoying the day with us - remembering and helping to get us through, and of course trying to win an Ulu!

Everything was in place and then this happened.....

Yes - this is the lake that Pond Hockey was supposed to happen on.  Yes!  That is 6+ inches of water!  No children were harmed in getting these pictures! He is just terribly Alaskan!

The vehicle in this photo belongs to Burkeshore Marina where the event was to be held!  Our hockey team was supposed to park cars on the lake that this rig is drowning in!

Below is the side of the house with about 8" of new snow on it and it is falling off the roof in this warm spell and making your dog crazy!  The weight of the snow on the lake has caused "overflow" and is part of what is making the lakes fall apart.  

And so....Pond Hockey was postponed for three weeks in the hopes that Mother Nature will give us a good cold spell and the water will freeze and the hockey rinks can be cleaned up!  

Reed is working out of town, since no hockey.

Yesterday, to keep busy, and because the computer was doing a goofy update, I went and helped out at basketball!  It wasn't even hockey vs. basketball - it was just basketball!  Funny thing is that the other team has a kid on there who looks just like Reedo!  Walks like him too - although you cant see it in the picture!  I laughed so hard about it - No skate Reedo!  It was a fun time!

No skate Reed - aka Ben from Sitka!

So here I am today - struggling my way through another of your birthdays without a plan B.  It is usually hard enough to have a Plan A for these days.  Days where you are so, so present here but so so far away and untouchable!  Days when the pain feels like it is sitting on my chest again waiting to make itself known with a meltdown in the middle of the day, and when every song is the song of the day.

So I am winging it - and decided to try to get into the greenhouse while the sun is shining and I wait for the day to end.  Nana did a check in with me - she always remembers the hard days, the excruciating, ass-whooping days that make me want to leave this place, run fast and far, or just leave the planet all together, because I can't bear not having you here.

I started with this!  Two feet of wet heavy snow and ice!

Unbelievable amounts of snow with water underneath!

Snow shovel buried past the blade even!

Had to dig that out first!

Snowpocaplypse lives!  I will not be able to get through this amount of snow and ice!  I will be happy to get my greenhouse door open!

Good start!

Im in the door!  Slush keeps running back towards the door though and keeping it a hot (actually cold) mess!

Now we're almost home.  Door can open far enough to get stuff in and out, and for me to be able to start getting planting stuff ready to go.  I am so ready for spring.

I had to put part of the rain gutter so the water goes away from the building already!  I usually don't have to use this except in the fall when the hunting rains come.  There is at least three inches of water under this snow in this part of the yard.  

I don't know if this really honors your birthday, but I do know that it kept me busy doing something useful that did not include sitting all day watching t.v. or laying in bed for the whole day - still like a vegetable and crying with loss and missing you.  That is better than I have done for the past 5 birthdays we have lived through and I have made it to 5:00 pm.  

I will also be doing some quilty things in the sewing room today.  I honor you with this because I am quilting for some of your friends who will be having their own babies soon.  Which also makes me happy and terribly sad for what I should get to see you doing.  The "grand dog" does not fill that hole.  He misses you too.

We will try again next year to "honor" your birth somehow - hopefully with a back up plan in place!  Missing your love and light, and your presence here with us.

Blessed be.....always.

 

The important things.....

I have been following Holly Butchers "Note before I die..." blog sporadically since Rye passed on.  I first saw her posting just a few months after my son passed and I bawled my eyes out because every single thing she says is true.  I also wept because my son did not get the opportunity to do most of the things on the list - or at least not enough of them. He also never had to imagine that he would need a list like this.  I weep today because she has passed on - this wise and wonderful young woman whose life touched ours in likeness and who was taken much too soon.  She should not have had to have a list.

This picture was taken in Hawaii - he was travelling.  This is not his dog however, dogs loved him and he loved dogs so if one approached him he would love on it.  No matter what kind.  His dog misses him.

The last post for Holly Butcher has been removed, Im sure so her family can have some peace - or maybe because they can't get things in her inter-world to work the way they need to.  In her post she really allowed me to understand how and why I am changed, yet still chained. I DO still have to live on - here in this place with pain and sorrow - but also filled with joy and awesomeness.

My Mother In Law passed away on December 28, 2017.  Three days after Christmas/Yuletide.  We had a wonderful trip with her to Las Vegas in November where she got to see her grandson play hockey, visit other family members, and see and do new things.  We all did!

I learned how to do modified poses for my morning yoga walk because the sidewalks were so hot.  We saw the Hoover Dam.  The weird water people tried to figure out why the water level in the dam is so low - its a giant drought there - and we took pictures with one foot in Arizona and one foot in Nevada.  Reed was there technically for work with the hockey, but we also had fun and did things.  It is the first trip that I actually remember since Rye passed.  We enjoyed it even through our pain.

This is Reed, Granny and her twin sister Wilda at Hoover Dam.

This is what most of our pictures look like above.

I really thought I would like most of them to look like this one above.

But it doesnt matter - we know who all of those people are - they are OUR people.  They are having fun and learning new things and connecting with each other.  In her post Holly Butcher says " I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit."

I try to do that - most of the time I am successful, but sometimes I fall back on the habits of fear and doubt, or of grief and sadness of our losses.  I think it is OK to do that.  It is how I am "feeling" and we have to "feel our feelings" or we never deal with them.  Sometimes we do have to curl up in a ball and shut out the world because our feelings are too hard or we are too tired from being livers of life to deal with them right at the moment.  Doesn't mean we wont be ok.

We are rolling right up on Reeds graduation date - we just had a milestone birthday - his 18th. HE celebrated it by helping Team Alaska win a Bronze Ulu in the Arctic Winter Games in Slave Lake Canada!  Travelling, playing hockey, making friends and living.  

I hear folks all over the place barking, harping, and punishing their kids for bad grades.  I DO work in a school as one of my jobs so I hear it more than most maybe - but I notice it a lot - as if the child's future worth and current value is based on a set of numbers given to him by people who may or may not like him much less LOVE him.  As though his right to actually LIVE might depend on those grades and numbers.

Stop the bus.

Rye had a 3.85 grade point average when he graduated from High School.  How much do you think that matters now?  Not one bit.  People ask when he graduated, when he died, when he worked at such and such.  No one has EVER asked what his grade point average was.

Im not saying that learning isn't important or education - Im just saying that we (as parents) need to be more interested in our child's actual growth in life and skills for life- as a long term liver of life - than in how someone who does not necessarily even really know our child judges them to be growing. Happy and Healthy is the goal for us.

Teach your children to do good deeds, to be kind, to want to make the world better and you have to show them what that looks like. Heck!  Teach them to fish - I thank the men who taught mine to love fishing!  

Help them know how to connect with people and not with a cell phone.  We will have to help with homework sometimes too.  Show them how to do things, volunteer at a shelter for people or animals, help with fundraising for school supplies.  If you haven't been in a school lately you are out of the loop. Our teachers have sometimes 40 kids they are trying to get to the finish line so to speak, and all of them are at various levels of maturity and growth.  They cannot do what needs to be done to make our children well rounded.  They try hard though!  Relax - let that one or two bad grades go - they can start tomorrow to fix that.   They are learning to communicate when they have to talk to that teacher about that grade and to problem solve.  Even if the grade can't be changed.  Life skills.  

I know it is hard - and I am not good at not barking about getting homework done either - I get it!  I know he has to do the homework to graduate, but if something should happen and he doesn't, he will still be here with us - a liver of life, a do-er of good deeds, a man who is good and kind - and can hopefully wash his own socks!  

Be blessed in your journey of life!