Wednesday, November 28, 2018

A Final Random Act of Kindness

As the holidays approach (Thanksgiving is passed now) there has been a lot of talk about "Random Acts of Kindness" online and in the news, and I have been thinking about that a lot.  The holidays are really, really hard here at our house and I have to really try hard to see the beauty and the good of the season when I am really feeling the  missing members of our family now.

There are all types of random acts of kindness.  Carrying groceries, shoveling snow, paying it forward for someone in a line behind you,  or paying it forward literally to someone in line ahead of you who cant pay for all of their groceries!   

Rye was an organ donor.  Today because of him two people have sight.  Because of the way in which he passed (unknown cause of death/unsure diagnosis) they were unable to use his other organs, but today, two people have the literal gift of sight.  I recently discovered that a friend of mine is a surgeon who does the "harvesting" of the corneal and eye tissue from donors when they pass.  I probably knew that before Rye passed but the grief fog makes you forget tons of things that should be remembered.  I am blessed to know that her hands were chosen for fulfilling this amazing gift.  The last "random act of kindness" that you or your loved one can bestow upon people in the world who are sometimes literally in the fight for their lives!

Photo credit - Chugach Peaks Photography - Those beautiful eyes.

I sometimes wonder if I will ever meet either of the people who have Rye's eyes now?  Will I recognize him in them?  Will they know how much we all gave for their sight?  Probably not, but I know a loss mother who got to meet the person who got her sons heart when he passed.  She got to hear her sons heart beat again.  I will be happy with a secret wink!


In 2018, more than 450 relatives of organ donors declined permission to donate because they were unsure of their relatives wishes to donate!  I know why - it isnt because we are unsure of their wishes do donate - I knew Rye wanted to be an organ donor the same as I knew he wanted to be cremated, but it is an excruciating decision!   We had to make the decision quickly (within 24 hours - maybe shorter) so as not to "lose the viability of the tissue".  I remember being on the phone with the organ donation group and hesitating - even though I knew that he wanted to be a donor - my mothers brain and my mother heart were both certain that this was all just a terrible nightmare and that I would wake up to Rye doing "Stewie"  - "Mom! Mom! Mom! MAAMM! Mommy! Mommy!" (He always thought that was hilarious), and of course the still rational part of my screaming brain knew would never happen.  

It took every ounce of energy that I had to say "Yes - do it!" to that lady and to have my friend help me to receive the fax papers and send them back to them with the signatures on them saying "Yes - do it"! and when it was over I went into the house and I laid on the couch in "my spot" and I howled and cried and the tears would not stop and I didn't want them to.  I wanted them to make me liquid so that I could flow away and go wherever my child went.  That dreamland where maybe there really is no pain and no suffering, because it certainly wasn't here.

I wasn't sad about the decision to donate - I knew that was a good thing and there was relief in the saying Yes to that, but it made it that much more real and final for us.  The final Random Act of Kindness from my son that broke this mothers heart, but gave two people sight.  Be a donor.  Be blessed.

Sunday, November 4, 2018

The Kingdom for some shoes! #ak2uganda




My sister recently made a post about having a hard time finding basketball shoes for their fast growing middle school daughter - even in Anchorage Alaska which is a hub of commerce for Alaska!  It is 70 miles away and about two hours drive from Big Lake.  Here is what she said in response to an article about Nike air swoopes and the disappearance of womens signature shoes:


My husband and I went shopping for girls basketball shoes for our daughter this fall and could not find one pair in all of Anchorage! "You can order them" the Footlocker guy said. She's grown over 4 inches in height since January, we'd really like to have her try them on. "You'll have to fly to Seattle" he laughed. This, plus the comments on this article makes me sad. Why do the women's teams get compared to the men's and critically devalued? (See comments on the original thread). As a society, we need to support women athletes: buy tickets to games, jerseys, channels,advertising, and start "shopping the swag" meaning SHOES AND GEAR to represent for female athletes and teams, and have ergonomically female gear available for our daughters. We know how to shop, right?? Dammit.

Read the article here.   C'mon shoe stores - get some GIRL Gear!

This is not her first go-around with trying to find gear for a basketball player.  One of the girls who played at Houston High is now in Germany playing Womens Pro Basketball.  All of her supporters had to work really hard to be able to get her to be able to play high school ball much less on to college and have gear (including shoes) that would work and keep her body healthy.  If your shoes dont fit, it hurts and it hurts you!  How is this even a thing in America?

(Cant find a photo credit for this one, click the photo for more of Dajonee's story.  She can always use our support as well).
Congratulations to a successful start to DaJonee Hale’s professional career in Germany. The Former NAIA star has averaged 23 pts, 7 reb, and 3 ast through her first 3 games. Hale played at the Women’s Final 4 Eurobasket Camp in Columbus this year.

So we all know that I am a hockey mom and that other sports seem foreign and weird to me - except that I DID play basketball in High School and earlier, and my dad was a basketball coach!  So I DO know a little about that one -(Im only 5'2" - so - seriously)!  It's been a while, and a few of the rules have changed but its still the same basic game when I go to watch their daughter play.

I went and watched my niece play recently and saw teams from way up the road North of us - about another 100 miles past us and I wondered at why some of the girls had shoes on that would not be considered appropriate for basketball on a regular court.  My Brother in Law said "Because they have to drive 4 hours to not be able to buy shoes for their girls, so they wear what they have"!  Yikes!  What??

So that discussion yesterday online made me remember a facebook  post by Riley about bringing in shoes to the school for some kind of fundraiser or donation and I asked her for the information.  So began an amazing story of an 11ish year old girl who used her Disneyland money to fund an awesome basketball camp in Uganda!  Yes - I said Uganda and she used her Disneyland money!  I am always so amazed by people and their capacity to give and give to help others and to spread joy.  This project not only gets shoes to those who need them but also spreads joy! And her mother has 4 - yes 4 kids!  Making it happen!

I asked her mom to give me some more information about the trip and here is what she said:
Wow! Thank you so much! This idea came from my daughter who is now 11. She had it on her heart to go on a mission trip and “help change the world before she turned 13.” She turned her Disney World savings into her mission trip savings two years ago. We have the most generous, smart, kind friends who love God and love people with every part of their day, named Ricky and Becca Waitman. They started PUR International, which a nonprofit that focuses on James 1:27 saying that true and proper religion focuses on helping orphans and widows. They run the mission with Andrew and Heidi Kangay, who have been living in Uganda for the past year with their three kids. When Ricky and Becca heard that Hallie wanted to go on a mission trip, they were excited to tailor a trip to her and their four kids and their two nieces and nephew as we all learn more about what it is to shine the light of Jesus in our daily lives and have the opportunity to go to Uganda to share with them and learn from them. Hallie loves basketball and wanted to do something with basketball over there, but we did not think it was an option since basketball is not popular in Uganda. In June, Andrew asked if we would want to help run a three day camp for 60 kids from around Uganda and pair basketball skills with health and spiritual outreach. God is a God of details and how awesome to pair Hallie love of God with a sport she enjoys. She came up with the name of the camp “All for His Glory” with my chicken scratch of a design and asked my lifelong friend who is an extremely talented artist and designer to see what she could do with it. She created an awesome design that will go on each orange and white reversible jersey for each camper.

We attend Trailhead Wesleyan Church and the children’s ministry team is purchasing over 60 pounds of groceries for $30 (bought in Uganda). These groceries will help a family of five for a month. Hallie and I will get the chance to help PUR International deliver these care packages when we arrive in Uganda. We are so excited for this life changing adventure.


(Click on the photo to link to the donation site for this part of the project).

The design was so cool that many of our friends and family wanted a T-shirt, which has helped us raise funds for getting each child to the three day camp in which they will get three meals a day, clean water, a safe place to sleep , a cool jersey, and basketball. We also are collecting gently used shoes to hand out. It is so awesome to see that outpouring of support from so many kids here in Alaska were so willing to handover their basketball shoes or families that are buying T-shirts to help with this amazing adventure. We are seeing God move both in our small community and in all these excited kids who are looking forward to attending the basketball camp. God is so good!!

People are good too!  "Change the world before she is 13"?  I could hardly believe it when I read it but that is what she said.  I can't remember what I was thinking at age 11 except to worry about whose rabbit ate my avocado tree!  Yes- that was a thing at our house!  I certainly wasn't trying to change the world!  I am now but a bit late to the show apparently!

There are still some shirts available from the link as well - they are a great way to give some and get some too!  Designed by an 11 year old trying to change the world!!!  How can you lose?



(Click on the photo above for  more information on PUR International and to donate or share the donation page for the travel and basketball camp portion of this project).

No matter where you live, or where you don't, I hope you have shoes that fit, a smile on your face, and a reason to try to change the world!  Blessed be!

PS - use the #ak2uganda when you post about this and we can see how far we are spreading the joy!