That Gently Urgent Reminder - Love Your People! The Eighth Year.

 Some of you may have heard that I had a total hip replacement a couple weeks back.  Hence another long distance between posts.  I wasn't able to sit up well and do any of the things!   I did it on the Angelversary of Rye.  I thought it would be the perfect day for me to be knocked the "f" out for the day.  I talked (sort of) with the hubby and he ws as ok with it as we get for anyting on that day and I m pretty sure Rye didn't mind.  It is self care after all.

Getting in the car after surgery.  Went home day one! 

Feet up and stockings on!  Had to wear them for two weeks and no showers - only sponge baths!  I was so glad to get those off!  It seems that I had an allergic reaction to the adhesive used to put me back together and the best thing that I coulld use for a while was "paper tape" and guaze bandages which were also not really my friend right now.

This is a small sample of the blistering rash like issue I had!  SO healing has taken longer than I expected and by also not being able to lift anything right now - I have been relagated to binge watching and book reading - doesnt break my heart a lot.....unless I have too much time to think about ALL the things!

Hubby washed my hair for me!  A few times!

I have had lots of folks check in, bring food, visit and loan me items to use while I heal - at least from the leg.

Brix and Ike are less then impressed with this new blockage in their way of getting what they want and getting under my desk as close as possible!  They also are not impressed about beinglocked out of the bedroom - but I cant have them flopping on the broken leg all night when I cant move good!  They're getting used to it!

This was our 8th Angelversary and although Ike never knew you, I feel like Brix knows and remembers with us!  Being knocked the "f" out only put off the inevetible of remembering and grieving and some smiling this year.  Your Brother got married and has had his one month anniversary already!

Not my photo - wedding friends photo of the happy couple!  Beautiful!

We have moved a little forward with it now it seems, and we can talk a little more about you and memories of you.  The surgery day was not a "hard greif" day but it was only a small respite for all the rest of the days.  

There are still what I call "memory bomb" days where we are bombarded by memories and big, huge feelings, and emotions and ...... ALL the things.

Hockey speech you made - I think 2011.  What I wouldnt give for a recording of that - my only voice recording of you is you saying "Yeah!  YEr and A**hole!"  It does make me smile and laugh though too!

Today is also 9/11 - that terrible anniversary that also brings up a plethora of memories, memorials, and emotions from all over the world really as people make remembrance of the lives lost there.  I am lost in emotion myself because although I did not lose anyone in that disaster, I am reminded all day to remember the losses - you are included - my biggest loss.

We will march on into the 9th year - we already have.  We will remember ALL the things and we cherish the memories.  We will find a way forward and still keep you close.

I hope you have people to help you get through whatever life throws at you!

Today is only only one day.... tomorrow will be another... and on every day I hope you Love Your People no matter where they are in the Universe!

Blessed Be!

Best Wedding Ever!!! The Kids Did A Thing Round Two!

It was a glorious day!  The Wedding Day had finally arrived! The dress, the shoes, the hair -all perfect!

Reedo so handsome in his wedding threads!  This is a preview picture from a few days before the actual event.

Here he is without the jacket - still so handsome, just a little more casual for the reception maybe....

The full on reception attire!  Remember this - it will be funny later!

Hubby trying on his finery - yes it is Camo - the kids said we could because it matched my dress!

So we got ready to go - Early!  I looked in the mirror as I brushed my hair and I painted the last coat of polish on my toes - not a perfect match for the dress but with my fancy shoes - perfect for the day!

In case you missed it - those are the fancy shoes and the fancy hair!

Out the door we went..... got 5 miles away and hubby realized he forgot his wallet at home!  "Will I need it?"  "I dont know!  Why would you?"  "I dont know!  We better go get it just in case!"  So much for being on time for everything!  So we went back and got the wallet and when he went in the house, Naughty Ike was so excited that he was back that he smudged Hubby right in the crotch with a giant drool of goo as only a Mastiff can do!  Ugh!  Cleanup on aisle 1!

After the cleanup and getting the boys back in the house - of course they escaped - we hit the road again - only a little but late and I texted the kids that we were running late but on our way!  I was frustrated but not panicked - we would make it before everything started!

Until...... Road Construction!!!!!  Road construction with a pilot car on our One way in, One way out road!  20 minutes stopped the first time, them moved about 500 feet and 20 more minutes wait!  Horrors!

By now I am in panic mode!  It is 80 degrees and the car has no AC and I can feel my perfect hairdo soaking up the heat and frizzing completely!  Im wearing a faux velvet dress with a silk liner and Im sweating where ladies don't mention!  Hubby is also not happy - heat, sweat, wait & late....not a good combo for any man!

We just breathe......hold on and just breathe!

 Then we race to the wedding....as fast as the jalopy will go - and the law!

We were on time!  The beautiful kids had some hiccups too and so we were all able to be there for all the things!  Whew!

They started out by saying their personal vows to each other in a private ceremony before all the guests got there.  It was so beautiful and heartfelt!  I only cried a little, but I was so proud of them for making this choice and for the words of love that they said to each other!  It was truly a personal and deeply loving ceremony!

We also got some pictures taken before the ceremony too.  

Here they are in front of all the friends and family saying almost traditional vows.  It was humor, love and blessings all rolled into a truly beautiful ceremony - with a few comedy skits in it!  I laughed and cried - I think all the grown ups in the area who know us and Reed did!  Keyona's people too!

The happy couple after the wedding part was done and now onto the party part!

Me with Keyona after the wedding!  That is her reception outfit - mine is the green dress that I will wear again for another something!  Its comfortable and really wasnt too hot until.....

It is now 82 degrees! I am once again sweating where ladies shouldnt sweat! I am on the porch in the shade with one of my best girls Tyra Bogert!  She is amazing and beautiful and was willing to hold my hand and cry like we planned it like two old ladies at the wedding should the need arise - thankfully it didn't - we did good!

Note Reeds current reception outfit!  Way too hot for the Humphreys today!  NO pants!

After changing to my reception outfit (much cooler and air circulating) the mother son dance with my sweet son to the song he chose for us!  "I Thought You Should Know"  by Morgan Wallen 

Its the perfect song for us - lots of meanings and memories in that song!  I never thought the prayers were wasted - ever - and she is a lot like me.....  I love them both!

Hubby with our neice RaeRae.  Not sure if they are Captain Morgan or ??? They were enjoying the day - it had poured down rain for almost the whole week and we prayed for just one day of sun for the wedding!  We got the best day of the year!  Side note - Hubby did throw his back out a bit after this dancing with the best man Logan - and maybe running from the Groomsmen who wanted him to ride the mechanical Salmon!

Beautiful table settings for the reception!  They had such amazing settings and decorations, and the food was the bomb!  Keyonas stepdad and family made smoked brisket that was so delicious along with beans and potato salad like a big bar b que! They also had a Charcuterie Table!  It was amazing! I forgot to get a picture of the awesome spread!

All the groomsmen!  Not one bird (Rye Sign) showing here!  Aren't they all so handsome and appropriate!  We flipped the bird way less today than usual at gatherings, not sure why or maybe we just missed getting them in pictures today?  Sadly (lol) there was also no naked at this wedding or reception!  Word got around that Nana (Reeds Gramma) forbade it - and the streakers wife may have too..... only the streak knows!

The memorial table.... I always have mixed feelings about these at weddings, but I have come to understand that it is a way to have the physical presence there... even if in pictures.  We always have them in spirit - dragonflies abounded all day throughout the ceremony too.... and

They were with us today.  All of our people.

The happy couple on the mechanical salmon!  This was so fun to watch - I did not ride it as I currenlty have a hip that needs replacing - this was what Hubby was running from the Groomsmen to avoid riding!  The video is hilarious!  It wont load here so you will just have to believe me!  It was Reeds one request for the reception - a mechanical Salmon!  

We are anxiously awaiting the professional photos from the day - might see the bird more in those!  I will update when we ge them...

I hope you have sun, love, and great memories for all of your events..... Blessed Be!

A New Do and the Wedding Shoes

This is a long one but it makes up for the month since my last post... it will be worth it!

So...... There was to be a wedding!  A wedding that would have my son getting married!   To  very special young lady!  I had the dress ordered, and as the date drew near I talked with my mom about what to do with my darn hair!  It's just weird - it never does what I'd like it to do! I slso do not really try very hard to do things with it - I most of the time do not care about my hair!

 

Above is my usual hair!  Hot mess not quite a brown football helmet!

She said "I am giving a "Love You Gift" card for you at The Hair and Color Bar in Wasilla.  You will go and get your hair done before the wedding!"

In theory, this is so awesome it brought me to tears!  In reality, I also cried a little with anxiety about going to the hairdresser!  I have some issues!  I also had to go shoe shopping at some point in time and get just the right shoes to go with said dress!  I also do not love shopping unless it is at a fabric store!

But Mom said she had seen a lot of ladies coming out of there when she was waiting for one of my neices (pre driver status days) to get done working and there "was never anyone who came out of there who wasn't beautiful!"

The dress arrived and I made the hair appointment and prepped to go shoe shopping too!  The making of the appointment was interesting - I use pretty generic shampoo and conditioner and I dont own a blow dryer, straightener, or curling iron and I have not had my hair professionally done for about 20 years!  I have been cutting my own hair for most of that time - literally when Im sewing and hair falls and is in my way - I grab those paper scissors and cut it off and in the garbage it goes!  Totally not kidding! The appointment application asks lots of questions about your "hair regimen".  I do not have one!

I know one of the hair professionals at the Hair and Color Bar but of course she was to be out of town until after the wedding so I messaged her and asked who I should go to as an anxiety ridden self hair cutter?  She said - Stephanie all day long!  So I booked with Stephanie.....

Day of the appointment - I did some housework and then went and visited my father in law for a bit and then I went shoe shopping - had the day all planned out so I couldnt freak out and cancel any of the things!  Famous Footwear has Birkenstocks and that is what I wanted for the wedding shoes - they can be kind of fancy but still work at work too!  Double win!

Shoe shopping took a little longer than I thought it would, there was a young lady trying to find her perfect pair of Crocs, and a couple who were beach shoe shopping and I couldnt find exactly the right thing either until I only had about 15 minutes to get across traffic, through a few stoplights and up a hill to the hair appointment.  So ..... I rushed us - me and the shoe clerk.  She opened the box, said "left, right, 41, 41 and same color!  Great!" Rang me up and away I went - with the reciept in the box.  (Make note that we opened the box during this transaction at least twice - it will be important later).

I made it to the place - Hair and Color Bar - tucked into the mall in between the Geico offices and the Northern Knives store.  Took a few minutes to get ready to go in - "everything will be ok- everything will be ok!"

And Im in!  Smiling and greeted kindly by a very lovely receptionist.  Checked in and told Stephanie will be right with me.  "Everything will be OK!"  

The before picture - in the chair and ready to do the hard thing that is also very exciting!

They offer you tea and water and here I am with Stephanie behind me uptting the "fun Foil" in my hair to get me "sun kissed highlights" started! Notice that both of us are smiling!  I very much liked the idea of "sun kissed highlights"  I want something seriously low maintenance, and not trying to cover up my grey, but just to have it be a little brighter and look good for the wedding!  They ask you when you make the appointment if you will committ to having an "hair update" at least every 6 months - I said "I dont know when Ill be able to do this again so lets just see how today goes?"  She was good with that - having seen my level of anxiety coming in the door!

Drinking my tea and reading a real paper book while waiting fot the "fun Foil" to do its thing!

When Stephanie had started the whole process, she asked me what it looked like when I look in the mirror and brush my hair?  I know I had a confused look on my face and I said "I don't look in the mirror - I just brush my hair and go out the door!"  Stephanie is familiar with my story as the lady I know who works there is also a loss mother and had told her some of the things.  Apparently, not looking in the mirror is a trauma response - for various reasons - I had not realized that I didn't often look at myself in the mirror - rarely ever....

Stephanie gently said "I know you want to look good for your sons wedding, that is the whole reason you are here today.  Part of self care is looking in the mirror to brush your hair so that on the day of the wedding you will know what to d and how to make it look the way you want!  I need you to start looking in the mirror!"  Then she showed me how she was brushing it.

Done!  I love it!  Stephanie was amazing, gentle, kind and didn't berate me for the uneven levels in my hair from cuttin it myself.  She just fixed them, and showed me how great getting your hair done can be!  As I was leaving I said to her "Stephanie - I would do this again!"

Cool Mo Lis in the car headed home with a beautiful new do and some confidence (along with shampoo and conditioner) that I can manage my hair for the wedding and for all the days really!

Once I got home I was exhausted, but happy!  Until I opened th box with the shoes to make sure they really did go with the dress and.....

TaDa!  Two different shoes in the box!  Yes!  The box we opened at the counter twice!  Holy Crap!  I have to go back to the store!

The next morning I toodled back, and when the clerk asked if I was returning or exchanging I said "Neither, I just need two of the same shoes in my box please!?"

The clerk sort of freaked out - "What if the other pair of shoes got sold too and they dont return them in time for the wedding!?"  I did not freak out - "Then we will find another pair that will work for me!"

It took us 40 minutes and the clerk and the store manager and anyone else who would jump in to help - but finally..... 

TADA!  towo same shoes that fit me in the same box!  Yay! 

Here they are on - perfect with my dress and ready for the wedding!

Stay tuned for the wedding post - coming up sooner that I have been doing - its all a long story!

I hope you have people who love you enough to help you get your hair done when you are afraid to and shoe people who care to get you two shoes in one box!

Blessed Be!

Everything I need to save your life!

A few months ago I had occaision to have a little visit with my sister at her office- she runs the local homeless shelter - its really much more than that - its a training center, a gatering place and they have a daily supper that everyone is welcome to and the staff and the youth sit down and have dinner conversations "family style"! Its really amazing and they do so much more than I can include here without loosing sight of the jist of this post. Check out the program HERE AT MYHOUSE

Anyhoo.... I digress, and she rarely gets to have a spare minute so when I get to say hi to here there its a treat!  We started talking about purses and how I have a giant purse - Chelle only carries a wallet.  The roles used to be reversed and I only carried a wallet and she had a giant bag.  High school times.

This is my bag.  It is about 40 pounds worth and has everything from chargers and cough drops to water bottle, first aid kit and also a sewing kit, Narcan and some quarters for a load of laundry or a newspaper!  We laughed about it for a minute and she said - "I dont need a giant bag - I can get anything I need in about 5 minutes at a store or borrow from a neighbor!"  I said "Everything I need to save your life is in that bag!"

 

She paused for just a second and then asked "Why would you need to carry all that with you?  Whose life is in danger?"  I had not thought about it for a while but the life I want to save is the life I missed saving almost 8 years ago.  This giant bag of crap is a trauma response to the death of my son, Rye.  If I have everything I need to save a life, I wont miss it the next time around - no matter who it is!  There is a comfort in knowing that.  There is little comfort in carrying that much crap around though.  It can be painful!  It also has to have "enough" pens and paper!  I have no idea how much exactly "enough" is though!

I also have some household hoarding that I am dealing with too (see above grocery bag that is half full of filled water bottles).  Books too - lots and lots of books!

I am working through it and have abandoned the giant bag for now in favor of a wallet that holds a lot of stuff but weighs only about 2 pounds!  It has been freeing and epiphanous all at the same time.  I am looking around at all the piles and begining to go through some of them - downsizing a lot of them and creating more manageable space.  Its a good thing and it might save a life anyway!

I hope that you have all that you need to save a life and that you can carry it all in a big heart and a small sack!

Blessed Be!