Cooking with the Kids!

 Reed and Keyonna don't get to come very often right now - both are hard workers and have jobs as well as keeping up their own household and taking care of the granddogs - usually three of them - one is a loaner sometimes.

My Mom (Nana), always said one of her favorite things of all time was when we would come and cook with her and I have also discovered that it is one of my favorite things - there is nothing like working in the kitchen with your kids!  Food is Love sometimes and it can be hard to come by that flavorful bite that also feeds your soul when you are missing your people!

One of our favorite dishes that Chads Mom (Granny) used to make was stuffed shell Pierogis.  It is designed as a Pasty type dish originally, but they are easier to make (especially with kids) as a stuffed shell!  I had asked Reed and Keyona if they could come to dinner here at the house and we were having a heck of a time finding a day to do it with everyones busy schedules!  Finally they texted and said "your house Tuesday (the next day)"  and I said "Yes!"

Reed and the Hubby (Hubby's shirt says "Free Hugs" with a cactus and then underneath it says "Just kidding!  Don't touch me!"  It totally suits him most of the time!)

"What would you like to have?" I asked.  Reedo shot right back "Grannys Pierogis!"  And I said "See you then!"  The kids showed up about 5:00 and we got to cooking!  I was still very fresh off of surgery and couldn't do much as I still had the cast on!  It was a bummer but the kids jumped right in and got things going!  They had brought some Aloha ribs (Kalbi maybe?) and Chad grilled those up with the corn on the cob,  while we made the Pierogi stuffed shells.  It was delicious and so much fun to cook with the kids and visit! 

After dinner Keyona took the Hubby out on the porch for a much needed haircut!

She's a pro and he pretty much lets her boss him!  lol

All in all a great night with the kids and many memories were made.  Keyona I don't think got to meet Granny, but she is a good recipe rememberer and she will keep this one in her favorites forever now!  Granny had some recipes (like Pierogi) that she didn't write down, so we have had to sort of figure it out and make our own.  

Hubby and Granny - many years younger than now.

Cancer took her in 2018, exactly 18 months to the day after Rye passed. So now we have two Angels on the other side helping us get through each day, and hopefully remember their recipes right!

I hope that you have a kitchen that is cozy no matter the size, and I hope you have people you love to share it with!  Blessed Be!

Stuffed Shell Pierogi

Preheat oven to 350*

1 box large pasta shells (Jumbo) at least 25 shells

3-4 lbs boiled potatoes - diced -peel them only if the skins are thick

1 stick + butter

1 8 oz. box cream cheese

1/2 C Heavy cream or milk

1/2 C sour cream

1/2 C sharp cheddar + about 1 C more for topping

1/2 C Sharp white cheddar

1-2 tsp. onion powder (we like about 1/2 a carmelized onion in ours)

1-2 tsp garlic powder

6 strips crispy bacon - crumbled - reserve for topping.

Salt and pepper to taste (cheese can be salty so make sure you are tasting).

Cook pasta shells according to package and drain.  Spray a 9x13 pan with oil or coat with butter.  

In a stand mixer whip the next ingredients to make a smooth mashed potato - it should be really yummy and buttery!

Using a spatula, hold the pasta shells in your hand and stuff to brimfull with the potato mixture.  Set them individually into the 9x13 pan in one layer.  Its ok if they are a bit crowded.  Top with the rest of the shap cheddar and the crispy bacon and bake for 20- 25 minutes.  

These can be a main dish, side dish or an appetizer.  They also make great potluck item, and game day platter food!

Enjoy!

We went to a Wedding!

We have been moving forward recently in a brighter light and with a bit more purpose - even if we don't always know what the purpose is -we are moving.  Baby Steps!

Recently a friend whom we really consider family got married to the love of her life!  She is just a bit older than Rye, and he and she were like brother and sister. They took their time, and really it was wonderful!

Weddings have been hard for us since Rye passed, excruciating really, and I have passed on many a wedding that I thought might end in me being in a heap on the floor and not able to honor the couple the way it should be done.  Even some of the closest of kids with us I was not strong enough to actually go and be joyful with them.

This one was not different really, but I was determined, and Reed and Keyona said they would weather it with me - they have been to a few weddings so they have more practice.  lol 

It was also pre-carpal surgery, so I was still getting around pretty well with all my parts in working order!  I am healing now but still struggling with the slow healing of the nerves.

It was held at a farm in Palmer and was one of the only sunny, hot and beautiful days we had all summer!  Got up to 80 degrees that day!  It was fun to have a "dress up" day and spend with the kids too!  I wore all my earrings, rings and even my dragonfly pin!  It felt good to want to do that again.

There were many signs of Rye that day, from the memorial table as we walked in (I was not expecting that and it took my breath away for a minute), to the dragonfly that flitted around all day from me to the bride and to Reed and Key as well.  If you look close at some of the photos you can see it photo bombing us in many of them!  Your name was spoken and you were remembered that day in the sunshine with us.

There were many fun things at this wedding and this little digital camera was one of my favorites!  You scan the code and it lets you take pictures that go right to the brige and grooms albums!  You get lots of fun photos from all parts of the wedding and all the people who love you participate in your album!

I couldnt resist sending them a picture of Brix and Ike when I got home!  Just for the laugh emoji's I knew would happen!  The Newlyweds are DOG people!!

Brix and Ike sitting pretty for a photo for the couple!

And there was joy - real joy - for us and for them that we got to have some time together and see the love all around us and for each other!  Keyona has the "selfie" taking down!  I always seem to get mostly the hairy underside of my chin!  WTF?

Another fun thing they did was when the Groomsmen were coming in they played a rock and roll song and passed out drinks to the wedding guests.  It was hilarious and fun!

I didnt get a picture of it but when the ring bearer came out he was dressed to the nines and the mission impossible song was playing and he was wearing the sunglasses like Cruise and had a suitcase handcuffed to the his wrist with the rings locked in it!  He was deadly serious and it was so much fun to watch!

I also got to have lots of hugs from my Reedo.  I got to visit with friends I hadnt seen in a long time, including some of Ryes' hockey boys who were a big part of our lives all those years ago.  Some so long that Reed didn't remember them since he was really little at the time!  They remembered him - and his "rink rat" shenanigans!

They had a "charcuterie buffet" at the reception and (of course) I didn't get a picture of it but it was AMAZING!  I have never seen that much meat, cheese, and pickled veg in all my life!  In my defense I was a little overwhelmed by the whole thing, and trying really hard to make sure I was feeling the joy and not letting the loss sneak in - so pictures were secondary!  Other than these ones!  Haha!

There was an open bar and they had these really cute little plastic party cups that were purple with gold rims and I saved two of them from Reed and Key - you can see one in Keys hand above.  I forgot to take pictures of them before I used them and I have broken both of them now, but they were also super cool.

Usually my hair is totally a caution, but even with the stiff breeze that was blowing (thank goodness or I  would totally have had epic deoderant fail) I was able to keep the hair monster at bay with a hair clip and my Bose sunglasses!  This one was taken as I was leaving the reception and Reed and Key walked me to my car. Photos courtesy mostly of Aimee Matteucci, dear friend and scrapbooker expert!

I hope that you have good friends, and good kids to go to hard but joyful places with, and I hope your invitations to the sunshine are plenty!

Blessed Be to you and to the New Couple!  You know who you are!

7 years too long

 This will be a shorter post than my usual annual loss post as I am still dealing with the surgery healing and the recovery from the carpal and Cubital elbow.  We March!

It has been 7 years now that you are gone.  7 long and difficult years.  2,555 days.  So many people in our lives now have never met you - dont know your sweet smile and sense of humor.  How absolutely huge you were in size and energy and presence - and love.  They have no idea how large a gaping hole you have left in our lives and the lives of everyone who did know you.  They have no idea how hard it is to get through each day with this wound in our hearts and souls.

I have had people who have not experienced this type of loss say to me (and other loss parents), "A wound will not heal if you keep reopening it!",  but this wound will not heal anyway.  It NEVER goes away.

I have had people say - "Man, I worked with that guy a lot, and spent a lot of time with him."  Those statements always make me smile for a couple of reasons, because they are always said with reverence and love for you, and also because my first thought is always "I gave birth to him!"  My soul cradled his soul inside me and I KNEW him and LOVED him long before he was born!  

Both my boys knew our voices the instant they were born - including their dads, and even though Rye was 7 weeks early he looked right at his dad whenever he would talk.  Read the books and talk to them - they will know you when they are born.

Then there are the loss days like today, where it feels like everyone should remember what happened and that you are gone, but they don't and they probably shouldnt even, at least most of them, but it feels to your family as though you never existed for anyone but us - we scramble and scratch and crawl out of the black hole that is your death and try to make sure you are remembered with as much love as we still have for you - that part never goes away either - EVER - and I am thankful for that -the love stays.

Most of your clothes are gone now, except for a few things that I cannot let go of yet, and things from your rooms - even after death you have continued to be a giver.  So many kids have had benefit of your clothes and really your "style" -it seems that that is timeless also. We have family who look just like you and even right down to the "Rye Sign", and in that is also memories of you that are never forgotten even in the every day that is our lives.  For that, I am also thankful.

It is still so strange to have new pictures and never see you in them.  I look for you everywhere, all the time - sometimes I catch a fleeting glimpse of you - in a hi-viz construction zone or in a jacked up pickup truck with the tinted windows that I can't quite see into.... groups of hockey players-turned softball players where you would be if you could be, and always on the ice no matter who is playing.

Rye played only two years of baseball - one at little league - he was about 10, and one at High School as a Senior.

I think even Brix knows what today is, he is being very snugly and not very patient with the Ike - who did not know you (unless you sent him to annoy us)!

This is an older picture and Ike was still smaller, he takes up a lot of space now and tries to sleep on Brix part of the time.

I see you in your brother and your dad often, and in the first years that was so hard, but now I am thankful to have those glimpses of you there - your brother carries on well - keeping your good qualities while still having his own great qualities, personality and Reed-ism's.  I know you are proud of him just like me and your dad are.  

We are still all family - that also never goes away- no matter how many years it is.  We will add members presumably as we go along, and they will hear the stories of you and the tall tales too, and help us to remember those times.  You have once again gained some friends there and we have gained some understanding here as well with the parents who have lost - we are in it together and keep each other going.  Knowing........

Blessed be as we try to march into this next year without you and with you.

The Making (and fixing) of a Claw!

Its been another minute since you heard from me, and I have healed up enough that I can give you an idea of what I have been doing since I last wrote!  Fixing a Claw!  I introduced you to this problem a while back - you can read that one here!

Back a while ago - I started having some "twinges" in my right hand and  pain in my hand and elbow.  You all know that I do from gardening, quilting, writing, cooking and hockey things, as well as working a couple of jobs too!  It all sometimes add up to some issues!  

In March of this year I was getting ready to enjoy Spring Break and prepping to do some writing projects and planting I was hoping as well as having a "mini quilt retreat" too!  I started out by cutting out one of the "Murder of a Viking" quilt blocks (stay tuned for that later) and another set that was going to be a Tea Party donation.

The strip on the left is 92 individual pieces!

So as we got closer to the end of the school year after that fateful Spring Break, I began to have a lot of pain and numbness in my hand.  I could not hold a needle or hold a book or do alot of the planting that I needed to get going!

So off I went to the doctor who sent me to the Orthhopedic Surgeon!  A lovely Irish man who seems to actually care about what I had going on, and when he said I needed surgery I said great - Hows November for you?  He said Great because Ill be working on your hand next week!

SO........ Off we went to the Surgery Center to get it done and a few hours later.....

Laid up for at least a week healing elbow and wrist!

I had to wear a garbage bag to shower and try to do everything one armed.  I had to also keep it DRY and CLEAN!  Hand washing is a caution when you only have one had and you have to keep it dry too!  There is no such thing as clean and dry!

I thought I woud be able to do more than I could while I was laid up, and while I could do a bit of two hand typing it was too messy from the big wrap on there and it was more correcting than typing, so I had to give that up for a bit!

I was able to do a little sewing of pieces that I had cut before the surgery - there is no rotary cutting for a few more weeks until I heal up some more.  

So after 6 days I was back at work at the school, doing mostly left handed work and absolutely cooking from the heat and the cast!

After 10 days, I finally got the cast off - it ws so so itchy!

Because of the heat rash!!!!! When your office is 100 degrees all day and you have a cast on, there is no getting around the rash!  Ugh!

This owwie is bigger than I thought it would be.

And this one is smaller than I thought it would be.  

It really is healing up nicely, but I still am sore and bruised up and have no grip strength.  I also have only limited typing time before it is too tired, and sore to keep going!  

You can see the bruising better in this shot, a little of the rash that hangs on, and the elbow hole!  I am not in much pain other than incision pain now and muscle soreness, so I know it worked and Ill have no more claw hand!  I start Physical Therapy this coming week and start getting my strength back.

Stay tuned for more updates soon for how that is going, as soon as I can get a little stronger as well as updates on some of the other exciting things going on in life.  

Blessed be and dont be afraid to go to the doctor when you have a claw hand!