Everything Changes - Like it or not!

We have a New Normal at the school these days, and at home too in a different way.  At school, there is a sort of masked chaos, that is often uncontrolled and rivals that of a the "Friday the 13th" style theme park! Kids and grown ups everywhere, and some of them in and out of the office all day long with horror stories that would rival Flowers in the Attic!  Everyone with a mask on!  Like Halloween on steroids. There is no quiet space, not for grownups and not for kids and it breaks some of our people.  We are open, we are closed and we are working harder than ever to educate kids and keep them safe and healthy.  My office looks like I have set up a hockey rink - lined with plexiglass dividers so that I am socially distant and I can take my mask off once in a while.  I hate this change, and that it changes sometimes daily, and there is no time to adjust or sometimes no time to breathe and just be!

                   The plexiglass dividers that envelope my office space now.

Sports have been started, stopped, changed, started again, and stopped.  Our people are stressed and confused about what is real and what is not, and by the ideas that swirl around from the media and the rest of the world, and by the two men who want to run the world fighting and scrapping like school yard boys on television and internet in front of the world.  They are sad too, about the things they are missing so that we can get through this.

The lonely "socially distanced" parking lot.

My bosses have some reminders that they send out at the beginning of each week that I really love and try to follow, and it looks something like this;

    "We are attempting to do something that has never been done before,

    We will do the best we can with the safety of our students and staff at the forefront.

    We will adjust as needed to increase our chances of success."

I think the intent is to remind us to give each other grace as we try to navigate the weirdness that is COVID and that has been our "New Normal" since November of 2018 when the earthquake struck and we all had to pivot and move under one roof.  We had staff members leave because our school became very hard at that point and other schools weren't at that time.

I also add to that; "Our highest and best achievement will be that ALL of our people survive this".  I shudder to imagine if we cannot make this so.  

I also add to "Keep f'ing going!"

(Custom candle that Riley got me for Mothers Day - it's a great reminder)

At home, Reedo has moved out, which makes it really weird for hubby and I - and probably for the him too.  The sounds of the house are different, and it is very quiet!  We are stuck together in the same space often now that we are socially distancing and staying home, especially since it is getting colder now and outside is not so inviting!  In total contrast to the school, we relish the silence most of the time, but sometimes we miss the sounds of our children, and for me even to watch him sleep. To know he is breathing and blissful.  Alive.

We hear and see a lot of postings and radio ads about "Can't take it with you" and "You never see a hearse with a trailer hitch", and other "why are we working so hard for things when we should be having experiences" mantras.  They are all true, but we still, in our world, need a little money, heat and shelter to survive!  We need money to pay for the hearse and the funeral for that matter, and to make sure the kids have a little something left when we are gone.  And, now, in our world, experiences are a little more difficult and a little more stressful.  Especially for some of our at risk families, who may or may not have lost jobs during the pandemic, or who have health risks that cause them to need to be at home most of the time.  Even the experience of grocery shopping has drastically changed.

(Click list shopping cart)

"You can run but you can't hide" - that's one that no one says at the funeral!  But its one that all loss mothers, and actually anyone who has lost a dear loved one seems to experience - moving doesn't help!  My friend Christy tried it, Meemaw tried it, and we have wanted to move about 100 times but we know that it wont help,(we have talked about it often) and our house still feels like home but it is still missing something - and always will.  The kids moving was a way to run, but it still feels like something is missing even at their house for them.  Someone always missing.

What I hear the most from the most of my people is "I HATE COVID!"  When mothers can't go into the hospital with their children for a surgery.  When daughters can't go into the hospital with their mothers/fathers for a surgery.  "I HATE COVID" when special events are cancelled, or when a memorial for a lost child has to be very small or postponed.  When our communities can't come together to uplift a loss mother and father with memories of their sweet child and surround them with love.  I HATE COVID.  When a lonely Veteran cannot make another day in quarantine and makes the ultimate sacrifice himself to end the pain.  I HATE COVID.  

Mrs Barney - the safest gal in the Burg!

We will get through this, one day at a time, the same as I have been doing for the last 4 years.  We are badass for getting out of bed, and we will continue to do so.  We will continue to do the hard things because we CAN do hard things, the Zoom, the classroom and the Zoom both at the same time.  We will wish for an "easy" button that is no where in sight.  We will reach out to our Veterans, our elders, and our at-risk people, and we will reach out to our teachers, caregivers, helpers, and our heroes to make sure that everyone can keep f'ing going.  There is no Highway option.

I hope that you have all that you need and I wish you enough.  Blessed Be!