The Profound Impact - Birthday 28

Profound - adjective -meaning  deep, powerful, and intense 

Today you are 28 - or you would be if you were here in this realm with us.  The day I became a mother, and your dad a father.  That incredible, indescribable, profound, deep love for another human being that I dont think can be felt until you become a parent.   

The hole in my soul that was once your physical form is still there, with its ragged edges and its gaping maw, but today, even through my tears, for this birthday, I am trying to find a way to honor your birth and life - instead of just surviving the day and getting through it.  It is not going as well as I had planned, but supposedly "its the thought that counts" right?  And writing counts too right?  Yes - I know I plan stuff too much!

Your dad and I had talked about having a birthday celebration at Chepos for/with you and others maybe, but we are just not quite there there yet- not quite ready for that place on this day, or a celebration again of the day that your spark became reality here on this side of the universe for a while.  Maybe next time.

We want to be able to recognize you and the profound impact that you had on the planet and on other people - proof that you existed and were real, tangible and meaninful in this space, for others and for ourselves.  

And to know that you will never be forgotten, on your birthday or any other day.  We will find a way eventually to celebrate again with you and with others!  Reed and some of the others are making memories today to celebrate and honor you, and I am so proud of them for doing that. Snowmachining and being outdoors and having fires and maybe a drink or two - raised in your honor. I hope that they take lots of pictures too today (and not too many drinks) lol.

We have so many pictures of you with friends and cousins and Reed, it would take pages to publish all of them and still it will never be enough!  I go through them a few at a time, saving and scanning them and trying to organize them - so many and never enough!

Your presence is felt profoundly today - and most days for me, but especially today, when you made me the best thing I can be ever - a mom.

Blessed be my sweet Bug Man - Where ever the Universe abides you right now!

Always loved and profoundly missed.

All About the Kraut!

 The Hubby loves Sauerkraut!  He kind of loves most things cabbage - as long as its Sauerkraut or has bacon in it!  I did not always love Kraut!  I didn't even like pickles until I got pregnant with Rye and went to the fair and had to have one of those giant dill pickles out of the big glass jar at the Husky Burger!  Hated dill pickles before then!  Yes - I know its a cliche' but its really true - thats how it happened!  Now we make our own from cucumbers that we grow - more on that later..

So I came to like and eat Kraut after I had lived with hubby for a few years.  He has some friends who make their own also and sent us a case home with him.  I was appalled!  What in the world was I going to do with a case of Kraut?  We ate it!  Sauerkraut can have some great probiotic properties, and helps with digestion and is chock full of vitimin C and some calcium as well.  

(part of our cabbage harvest this year - we had both Stonehead and Golden Acre varieties)

Growing up we didnt make our own Kraut but we always had cabbage for cabbage rolls, and for other cabbage delights too!  I think I didnt like Kraut because it was canned - like in a tin can and it tasted of tin can and was mushy and just not good!

Now we make our own Kraut too out of cabbage that we grow!  This year was a great cabbage year - the cooler temps during spring and summer helped with that and not much else!

So here is what you need:  A 5 gallon bucket or a stoneware crock that holds a gob - depending on how many heads you have to make your Kraut - we had 12 heads we were processing this year.  You can see the crock on the right sitting on the step stool.  You also need a 5 gallon bucket for holding compost waste, cheese cloth or loose weave dish towel, cutting board, sharp knife, lots of Kosher salt, a large bowl to mix in and I like to use my Mandolin Board to cut the shreds - makes easy work of it.  You might also need a gallon ziplock bag and a brick. You can learn about my antique Mandolin Board in a previous blog HERE.

Start by trimming off the ugly or too brown leaves or areas where the cabbage may have had slug or bug damage.  I like to quarter my heads to make them easier to core and to work with on the mandolin.

Put the cores and the spoiled bits in the 5 gallon bucket for composting.  If you don't have a Kraut crock you can also use a 5 gallon bucket for making the Kraut in.

Shred the cabbage into the large bowl.  Leave a little room as you will have to be able to stir, knead and mix the cabbage in there.

Once the bowl is almost full put two tablespoons of the salt into the cabbage and mix, knead and stir well.  It should start having juice form in the bowl and that is what it is supposed to do.  Taste the brine - it should taste a bit like a cabbage ocean!  If it doesnt taste salty add another tablespoon and mix, knead and stir some more.

Pack the cabbage in the bottom of the crock.  Pack it like you are trying to pack a suitcase when you are only allowed one on the plane - stuff should be tight!

The best option is that the brine will come over the top of the cabbage, but if it doesnt thats ok - we can fix it later when we are done packing.

These are the Kraut boards that fit into the crock. 

Once the crock is packed with all your delicious cabbage, if the brine doesnt come over the top of the cabbage, simply mix a quart of warm water and 2 Tbsp of the Kosher salt until the salt dissolves.  Pour it over the cabbage until the brine is over the top of the cabbage.  Give it a minute to settle, as you may have to pour more on.  It may not take the whole quart either - either way is fine.  Cover the cabbage with the cheesecloth or the towel.

Place your Kraut boards in the crock.  

I forgot to take the picture of this part until we were already canning our Kraut - but here is the Ziplock with the brick inside to keep the Kraut boards from floating too high and keep pressure onthe Kraut as it brews.  You can also just use a gallon Ziplock filled with water for the weight over the cheesecloth if you dont have a board that will fit.  Let it sit in a place that is about 70-75 degrees so it can ferment.  If it is too cool it will take forever to ferment and it may vinegar before it ferments into Kraut.  We had to turn our heater on to get our house up to temp so the Kraut could brew!

You can check the Kraut when you want to after about 3 weeks.  Once it tastes to your liking - can it up!  Ours took about 5 weeks to finish to our liking.  Sometimes you get a little mold or "gunk" around the edge of your Kraut/crock.  I remove it but I know some old school folks who just say to "leave it alone".  I think you can do either way.

Kraut cans just about like any other product - hot product goes in hot jars and into a water bath canner.

We also put Garlic or Jalapeno in some of our jars prior to canning for a spicy Kraut.  You can also add onion if you would like.  Options are endless!

Dont boil the Kraut - just heat it up.  Fill jars to within 1/2" from the top and adjust the lids and the rings.  My pints go 15 minutes in a boiling water canner and I can do 5 at a time.

Remove to a dry towel to finish sealing.  Make sure the lids seal well.  If they dont, put them in the fridge and use first.

You can use Kraut in Reuben sandwiches, on any pork dish or straight out of the jar if you need some extra probiotic action!  I like to use a bit on a cracker with a cheese wedge for a snack too.  Your friends will love it - be ready to share your bounty! 

Enjoy the growing and the brewing of your Kraut, it's like a taste of summer in the dead of winter night!

Blessed Be!

A Masked Madness

 I am supposed to help police the wearing of the masks in our school - actually all of our staff are supposed to police that, make sure the kids are socially distancing and wearing the masks correctly.  It is one of the most difficult things to do, and I certainly don't want to get anyone in trouble for not wearing a mask.   One student a few weeks ago came in and threw his mask on the bench and said "Im not wearing it anymore - suspend me I don't care!  Im not wearing it!"  He couldnt see that I was laughing a little under my mask because I have felt that way often recently.  He talked to his mom and put his mask back on and went back to class.  Alls well that ends well I guess.

Sometimes I dont see that they arent wearing a mask because I am mesmerized by their beautiful smile and the wholeness of their wonderful faces.  I choose only to see the good and the beauty of that maskless moment.  Sometimes I don't want to see that they arent wearing a mask, because their faces are so beautiful.

Mrs Barney wearing her hard hat and mask being the "safest worker in the hood"!

Then I have to put on my "masked game face" and make them put a mask on.  We start over at every break because the kids aren't wearing them at home, and really dont want to put them on when they come back - its a whole retraining again.  I made more than 300 masks in 2020.  Most to give, some to keep, and a few for emergency use just in case.  Put it in your pocket and save it for later.

Even our dogs freak out if I put a mask on at home - even to see if it fits.  One goes and lays down in the dog beds and the other one spins circles and can't figure out if he should fight or flight or hide or.... spin circles! Above photo is actually Brix hiding from fireworks over New Years, but the premise is the same for mask wearing!  I got freaking Darth Vader on Hockey skates all the time in the house and this dog barks at mama in a mask!  Go Figure!

One student who is a transfer student from our school - he rides one of our buses and then gets on his school but at our school, I was struggling to recognize with his mask on  and of course he always wears a hat before school too - and I would ask him his name every day for a week - maybe longer.  I recognized his eyes, but the mask took his smile away and his name just wouldnt come.  He would always reply "Its me,Mrs Humphreys! MT".  After the first week I started asking him as a joke because I recognized him with the mask on, but I forgot that he could not see me smiling under my mask!  He was sad and asked me "will you ever recognize me again?" I laughed and said - "I know who you are!  I just forgot that you couldn't see that I was joking with you!"  Now it is a funny little joke we have between us and he gets it every time - sometimes he laughs and tells me his name even though I have said his name already.  A way to connect and personalize something that has taken some of the personality out of our world by covering up faces and personalities and smiles.

Me and Mrs Reese with our "miss you" sign - last year before we were able to be open all the time.  No kids in the building and we were still masked to the eyebrows!

I know that this is what I have to do, for my job and to keep my job and hopefully it really is to keep everyone safe, but I sure hope it is gone soon and we can wear our smiles, our love and our wholeness and broken ness loud and proud for all to see.

Blessed Be and be safe!

Go the F*&k to Sleep!

 Many of you know I am not a great sleeper!  I plan, I try, I take "the stuff".  I go to bed early so I can wind down and go to sleep before I have to get up.  Everything works great for a little while - until it doesn't any more.  There are a couple of times a year when I have nightmares, or when sleep just isn't going to happen just because it is that time of the year.  New Years is one of those times, and I have been especially struggling during this time of Covid lockdowns and the fear that has created.

I have been told that I do a little dream travelling at night - a few of my magical friends have asked if I can go "out of body" at will - at this time I cannot, but apparently I do it in my sleep sometimes.  I have woke up their chickens so to speak.  I always thought it was a dream until one of my friends described exactly how our visit went to me?!? Yikes. I have also had full conversations and fights in my sleep.  So far no sleepwalking and I hope that never happens!

Sometimes I feel like I am so tired that I won't need anything to sleep - but as soon as I hit the pillow, the brain turns on, or the dogs bark, or I fall asleep for 20 minutes and then the neighbors shoot fireworks, or work on a snow machine, or..... any number of things that are not in my control.  

I accidentally found a recipe that will knock me out - at least to get to sleep and have a few hours of restful sleep!  I say accidentally because I wasnt trying to use this recipe as a sleep aid, just a bath tub pain relief.  It was a bonus round that they also help with insomnia!

One of them was this lovely Vervain oil in a carrier of light jojoba oil.  I had been using it on my feet as a pain reliever and moisturizer for my feet and ankles.  Hands and knees too when I needed to.  I have a bit of arthritis from some broken bones and missing cartelage.  It worked wonders for that.

I also had some Vetiver bath salts that I was down to the last little teaspoon of that I had been using for the same purpose, and it is also purported to be a help for anxiety and insomnia.  So, I was at wits end one night and hurting, and cold so my joints were hurting.  I decided to take a hot bath to warm up and to help me hopefully sleep.  So I mixed the bath salts and some the Vervain oil with a little extra Epsom salts and had a hot warming soak.

My head hit the pillow and I was out for the count!  I think I slept for six whole hours without waking, which is a long time for me!  I use this when I am desperate for sleep - I cant always take a soak at night.  Lots of reasons why.

So I mixed some of it up as a bath salt (I did not use the kind with the jojoba oil - it makes the tub slippery), to give as gifts for Christmas for my peeps who don't sleep!  Super simple to mix up and it works great!  I tried it a second and third time to make sure.

Start with a glass bowl, some coarse epsom salts, and some Vetiver, Vervain, and Lavender oils.  Mine are all DoTerra except the Verbena which is by Edens Garden.  You will also need a small glass dish, toothpick, and I use a plastic bread paddle to stir the products together.  I use a couple of glass iced tea jars for the bath salts, they have great lids and they look nice when full.  Ziplock bag works just fine for storage too.

In your glass bowl place about 3 cups of the Epsom salts.  Some folks also like to add baking soda also but my skin does not love that so I dont use it - feel free if you would like to.  You can also use the fine and coarse salts mixed too.

In your small glass dish, mix 10 drops each of the oils and mix them with the toothpick.

Drizzle the oils into the epsom salts and stir with the paddle.  I scoop the salts into the small glass dish also to get every drop!  No sense in letting it go to waste!

Once the salts are mixed well, I use a funnel to pour the salts into the jars - makes less mess on the countertops!  Also less spilled salt to throw over your left shoulder!

Any jar will work - even a mason jar that you can seal well.  This little jar is some extra that wouldn't fit into my tall "giveaway" jars.

I put on a "fancy" label, including the ingredients and the uses of the oils - in this case sleep and pain relief, and also just in case there are allregies for the receiver of the gift.

Dress them up with some ribbon and they are ready to gift!  Make sure you keep some for yourself too!

Blessed Be - now go the f^&k to sleep!