The Friends of the Dead- Birthday 32

Today you are 32.  I went to work today for the first year on your birthday since you have been gone.  I did good....everyone said so.  It was a hard day. It is always a hard day now.  I did remember when you and the Hammond boys played "Monkey in the Middle" and you got clocked on the head with a big rock and had to go get stitches.  You all told me that you fell in the ditch on the way home - but when we went past the spot where you said it happened - that story didnt play out.  I laughed hard about that today.

Why is your brother half cut out of this picture darn it!?  WTF!

You had so many friends here- so so many!  I still have people say to me "Man that guy had a lot of friends!"  You did and we have lots of people comment on how many friends Rye had and still has- My cousin still has kids (okay - grown men now) show up at their work and say "Rye said I should come see you if I ever needed ...." and he loves it that they remember him and remember you.  We all do.  It matters.  You have more friends on that side now too.  Uncle Jeff, Uncle Ron, a few others who I know are talking sports and biking with you - maybe some music too.

Each year that passes wthout you here always brings worry that we will be the only ones who will remember you.  Time slips past, and it feels like you get further and further away.....until you ring the doorbell at the school  so that we will go out and see the Geese, or change the radio station, or make some pictures fall out of the box on the desk so that we can SEE you.  I am glad of it especially on days like today that are hard for lots of reasons.

Memories of hockey days and all the friends you made there, friends who are still here and remember you with us - including all those guys in the back row checking out your cool hair and wishing they had it - yeah - I see you - forever with your game face on among the smiles - I see you.

You were a good friend I am told, and one special friend who called you "the giver" and said that you always knew when to call or touch base with them - like you knew they were struggling - and you made it better.  Some of those friends still check in with us on days like today and your leaving day, and sometimes randomly through the year too.  Still have all the love- and the memories.

And there will always be this - the "Rye Sign"!  Carried on through to the next generations who will remember you through us and through the friends.  

Amazingly - no one in this picture is giving the Rye Sign - even "the Giver"!  30 seconds later you all were!  This was birthday 21.  Sweet memories and look how young you all look!

I have decided that one of my reasons for being on the planet still is so that eventually everyone will be much more comfortable with the word "F^ck"!  Nana learned where the word came from finally this year.  2025.  She was able to laugh about it a little even - 

Pond hockey was this weekend and there were a lot of your friends there too - the "Rye Sign" lives as though it is the "Force"!

We marched through today, and we were even able to remember you with smiles and I only cried once and a little at work.  Eventually we will be able to really celebrate you and do things to honor you the way you deserve to be.  So I'm told...... eventually.....

I hope that your friends were all around to raise a glass of whatever stinky beer the Universe holds for you, and that you were able to see us today,thinking about you, cherishing the memories, and recognizing the friends who are still here to remember you with us.

Love and light my darling Angel - Im giving you the Rye Sign from here.

Blessed Be and Love your People

Practical Saturday Vibes and the gift that keeps on giving!

 I am procrastinating this morning - I really needed to get my oil changed today but - Ugh- its such a far drive and I have to put on clothes - especially that Bra - and this morning I just want to rest and read! Or sleep - which is likely until I get a little more home coffee on board!  

My Home Coffee wasn't actually terrible this morning - I work in a school with a Barista and Coffee Shop business training program so let me tell you - during the week - I get the good stuff!  Weekends I have to make my own.....hence "home coffee". Everyone knows that everything is better when someone else makes it right?! Totally!

So this is what I'm doing for a bit today - maybe most of the day!  This is one of the books I am reading currently - I say one because I read more than one book at a time again! I had been struggling with reading after Rye died because of the brain fog/grief fog that happens but, I got such a great Christmas gift from my nephew, Sean- we draw names each year for Christmas - cuts down on the cost and all the craziness of shopping for everyong and agonizing overif everyone will like everything!  Nephew drew me this year and he asked me what I would like - he's a dude and I'm an old lady and never the gifting twain shall meet unless they have a great clue for each other!

I had seen on the Facebook a little gift idea that is a 12 month calendar of books - one for every month - and it's like a blind date with a book every month!  If you don't know what a "Blind Date With a Book" is, check your local library.  Many of them have a display with books wrapped up and you can check the book out without ever knowing exactly what it is!  They usually have a description of some type on the front so you have an idea if you might enjoy it. You (in this case I) don't know what you are going to open for that month - a year long gift!

Here it is in all its majesty next to my "spot" on the couch at my Moms on Christmas!  Yes I opened the January book early!  I had to see it!

All lined up with the month they are for in a wonderful metal basket!

Nephew picked out all the books himself for me - His mom helped with the wrapping and the first book had a little "Happy New Year" note inside and the little HO HO HO tag - not sure who the HO is in this case but pretty sure that was an accidental name calling! LOL totally kidding!

Here is the January book!  Sean was sure that I would have read it already but....I have not!  I have read a lot of Hemmingways work (Old Mand and the Sea is a favorite), but I had not yet read this one - and so it has begun.   This is a multi layer gift for me as I am having to limit my book buying recently (I love a paper book but can't always get to the library either), so having a book on standby each month is going to help me greatly to keep to my budget.  This gift also has a surprise  each month - something to really look forward to each month, and also help keep me reading each month - reading something- because for me reading is relaxing and I need to make time for that too.

And.....when I've had as much "home coffee" as I should have each day - I switch to tea in a favorite cup that the kids got me on their Honeymoon in Hawaii.  Literally a cup of love!

May you have gifts that give you hope and love, and may you recognize when you need to rest as well!

Blessed New Year and Blessed Be!

Sunday Sister Check In

It's a New Year and Im not ready to publish the Christmas Survival Blog yet - it will come - later..... for now lets talk about New Year!

I am a planner!  Im not a "professional planner", like people that you hire or anything, but I am a planner none the less!  I have many lists - as I have shown you before - if you missed that blog you can see it HERE.  It's actually a self-care blog - you should read it again if you already did - its that time of year!

Each year I get a new "day planner" little spiral notebook that fits in my "Brown Book" that you can see here with a fun book mark that one of my kids - Rye made this particular one- for me for Christmas one year (think elementary age).  Its a favorite and yes Reedo - I kept all of them!  I have one from Reedo with Zoo animals and wolves on it as well as some bug ones!  I have about 10 in my brown book at any given time!

Last year I started what I call the "Sunday Sister Check In" with a couple of my women friends who I dont get to spend nearly enough time with but whom each "gets me" in their own special and supportive way!  It all started when one of them got me a daily calendar with quotes and questions and things that make you say "Hmmmmm???".  It hit me where I live, and I thought that more people need to have those quotes and questions and that it might be a fun way to connect -without having to take up a lot of any of our time but still get us conneted and  ready for the coming week!

This is today's check in- actually tonights check in - I have been sorely lacking in getting some of the things done that I need to do!  If you only knew what life was throwing at me right now - but most of you do if you are in Alaska!  Weather is terrible, rain, high wind, snow, ice.....and on it goes!  I fell yesterday and hit my head on the ice - cut my head a little, and have  giant goose egg but seemingly no concussion!  Pupils are reactive and even!  Just luckily I have a hard head!

SO  the new dream/goal choice was for the New Year and my goal I have set (one of them) as priority is to write at least 15 minutes a day - for real!  It's always been on my lists - but - ya know - life!  So Im checking in with my Sister friends (not all of them because - time) and Im getting some writing prompts going too!  The end result will happen as long as I do the everyday work = also for the New Year - in doing to work I will reach the goal - or that is the hope!

The Eleanor Roosevelt quote has always been one of my favorites - "you must do the thing you think you cannot do." This was a check in from last year at some point in time, and it was much more for me than for the Sisters I think.  There have been a lot of things lately that I have had to really work up the doing in order to do.  My mind wanders and I have actually started using the "Pomodoro method" to stay on track for a lot of things and office work.  You set a timer for 25 minutes, and then do the work - when the timer goes off you take a break or reset the timer if you are really "in the zone" at that moment.  It recommends that you only do about 50 minutes at a time and take walking breaks in between (get those steps in).  So far it has been a great way to stay focused and get some stuff done.  "Do the work".  I keep them in the "Brown Book" where my day planner lives and get them out every week as I need inspiration or when its time for a sister check in.  It is also a very "good thing" for all of us I think.

This is one that I didn't send as a check in but that made me stop and think and I have kept it all year.  The Wicked bookmark keeps the place and the quote says :You don't have to stare at the spot where you fell".  Noa Shaw

This is the quote that happend to fall on the Rye Angelversary this past year.  It always stops me in my tracks and I thought that it is appropo to trying to get through that date that generally does make me stop and stare at the spot where we all fell a little - my whole family - Now I only stare for a little while not all day.  Maybe this year I won't stare at all - but I probably will.  Ill still have this little reminder though to keep going and not say "wicked like its a bad thing"!

Check in with your people in this New Year - whatever that looks like - Don't stare at the spot where you fell for too long - and Love your People!

Blessed Be and Blessed New Year! 

 

With Gratitude - Thankful Round 2!

 It has been another Thanksgiving come and now gone, and though I was relatively healthy for this one -  we still chose to stay home and skip all the driving, bring dishes here and there, and going to loud places- it always feels so chaotic!  I did however, find ways to be thankful and to have peace while remembering that I love to cook, bake and definitely love to eat the good food! 

This was our Thanksgiving dinner - low pressure Mac n Cheese, Corn Pudding and some New Yorks that needed to be used.  The Hubby got to try a new meat rub he made up, and the corn pudding/casserole is as close to his mothers recipe as we have been able to make!  I am thankful we have her recipes to go through (at least some of them), and that we can try to remember some of her favorites too.  I am thankful that Reed and Keyona were ok with us having a quiet day and that they were able to enjoy the day with her mom and family.  One of my hardest things is to try to juggle the Holidays without melting into a heap, or trying to live up to the expectations in my head, and trying to balance loving the here and the "there".  I am thankful for the kids here and their grace, and their love.

I have a lot to be thankful for this year - I had a successful hip replacement that has taken the pain level down by 1000%.  For the past few years I have been in pain 100% of the time, and doing anything very strenuous was out of the question.  Being in that level of pain is exhausting and I didn't even realize how much until it ws gone!  Over the summer it all came to a head and I was hardly able to walk, much less do yard work or greenhouse things!  Hence the very reduced garden posts!  I should be healed enough to do some (or most) of it next spring and I can't wait!

These guys did some trimming this fall of some of the trees and berry bushes in the yard and I shudder to think what they will look like by next spring, but Im also thankful to see these Moose in the yard as there has been a sore lack of them  this year!  The winters have been hard!

Ike really would love to go and play with the little guys!  He doesn't realize they are 10 times even his size (he weighs 150 pounds now)!

I made a new sourdough recipe that the school nurse gave to me and it is delicious!  It uses Sourdough Discard so theres really no waiting, except I do recommend that you let your discard warm up before making because otherwise it takes forever for the rolls to rise! You can get the recipe here.

Sourdough is really not as hard as it is made outto be - it is a little bit time consuming, and takes some planning ahead but its really a worthwhile endeavor!  More on that later - future blog coming about all things sourdough!  I am thankful that I have a fantastic Sourdough starter and friends who share great recipes! My Mom and my Daughter in Love are both into it even - they are both kitchen Goddesses, which I am also thankful for!

We all went to Moms for a game day for Black Friday and that was really fun!  Pictionary is always a fan favorite, and I am thankful that I was on an artsy team and we won.  I still get worn out fairly easily since the hip surgery so I have to pace myself.  I did do some shopping at one of my favorite places - I don't usually Black Friday Shop but Spunky Monkey is so much fun and I have lots of friends with spaces there - its a co-op sort of store with lots of vendors under one roof!  And there's coffee - not "home coffee" either - its the good stuff!   I'm thankful for good coffee and tea! 

Check them out here - Spunky Monkey- you can shop online too!  I got some Christmas things that I can show you later - after they have been gifted!  My girl from the Spooky Bling Blog - Wanderlust Gems - has space at Spunky Monkey too!  And so does my Cousins Daughter - Dash of Ash! She makes amazing things too!  I am thankful that I have a local shopping spot to get some fo my gift items for people on my list and that they are so friendly!

I am still missing my Rye and Granny for the Holidays, and it has not gotten easier but I am finding ways to navigate the days and not fall so hard down the dark holes of grief.  Writing still helps, and quilting still helps, and hanging with the Reed and Key helps too.  We march some more! Thankfully!

I hope that your Thanksgiving was wonderful and that our Holidays will be too.

Be Thankful and Blessed Be!