Why Dont You STAY....

September is suicide prevention and awareness month and I know we have a lot of things to talk about but this week we are going to talk about HARD stuff again.  Awwweeeee Do we have to?  Yes. Talking about hard stuff is one of the ways to keep it from getting overwhelming and causing the feelings that make suicide seem like an option for people.  Teach people how to talk about hard stuff and be willing to help them do that.  Awwwweeeee - do we really have to?  Yes!

Any of you who have been reading my posts on the regular know some about my story.  My son passed away unexpectedly at the age of 23 from what the Coroner called "acute toxicity", which is basically a giant "F-You" from the universe because it means that some medications that he was taking killed him even though he had NO alcohol or illegal drugs in his system and the amounts of the prescriptions were not even close to overdose levels.  It has left us dazed an confused and with wounds so deep and painful that we are sure they will never heal.

You can read some of my posts about Rye and his passing at these links here and here.  There are a few others in between as well in between farming and quilting posts among other things!  Day to day life.

One of my new life motto's so to speak is "we put our feet on the floor and we march!"  But, sometimes we don't.  Sometimes it is all we can do to get upright for a few minutes at a time much less march, or go to work, or drive the car, or farm, or care about anything.  On our "dark days" we are all at risk.  When we are questioning whether what we do matters, and if anyone even cares about it (which I know you DO), and sometimes before I get out of bed in the morning, I have to think of a reason to stay - to stay with my people and here on the planet.  A reason to stay.  Almost always mine is Reed and Chad - family as a whole, and sometimes it is someone at the school - one of our special people who stay for their own reasons and sometimes that reason is me!

I have never liked the "suicide prevention" or "out of the darkness" motto's.  They make people cringe and shy away from our needs and do not allow us to get the help we need.  If you think "out of the darkness" is a way to grab attention and bring awareness, you are wrong and I think maybe those people who came up with that motto have never been in the dark place, drowning and can't come up for air.  Treading water for all you are worth and losing the battle, tired of fighting it.

Recently, the local youth homeless solution group MYHouse, came up with a different motto for this month:  STAY, Discover what you were made for.  They held a "STAY Day" on the 19th of September (yesterday).  It was a day of asking people to stay on the planet with us.  Find your reasons to STAY.    What makes you a STAY member? What were you made for?  Great questions.  Anyone with a "bucket list" can say that they have a list of things to STAY for - maybe one of the things on those lists are what they were made for.

They also premiered a song by a local Hip Hop artist Justin Pendergrass who is also a STAY member.  Give it a listen here  Justin Pendergrass - STAY (2018)  The voices you hear are actual homeless youth and their reasons why they STAY.  It's an incredible message and one I am so happy to share.  He is an incredible young man. Doing incredible things for his community and giving others lots of reasons to STAY.

I haven't discovered "what I was made for" but I'm going to STAY, for now and see if I can figure it out.   I have a list of things to do, and I have some goals set for myself and my family.  Those are a few reasons. Tomorrow I will once again put my feet on the floor and march.  I will keep finding reasons to STAY and trying. Again and again.  What were you made for?  STAY. 

Blessed be.