Thank you...for being kind....

 I was watching what I call "crappy British TV" the other day (it's not crappy - that is just a funny phrase for me) - I can't even remember what show it was - I am on quarantine again and so have been working in the office and the sewing room and have it on in the background.  It helps keep me from hearing every wind noise outside (we have had a couple of Monster Storms recently) and the dogs from freaking out over every little earthquake (we have had about 6, 3.0+ earthquakes this past week also).

In the show, a small boy who had lost his friend to a fire was asked what he would say to her if he could tell her anything and he said "I would say that I am sad that she is gone and I would thank her for being kind".

Reed (6) and a Chickadee. 

"I would thank her for being kind"..... exactly.  I have been blessed by so many kindnesses on this journey we are on, by so many people.  Some even from people I didn't know.  I have made some new friends from this journey, and some old friends have left my life - on journeys of their own or just away from the awful "hard" that is sometimes us now.  Some have stayed and become better friends than before and slogged through it with us, sometimes dragging us along so we stay the course.  Sometimes helping us up out of the muck that tries to drag us under occasionally.  Gently and kindly showing us light. 

I Thank You for being Kind!

The kindness shown to my Reedo when it seemed that he was struggling to go on and we feared he might not finish high school, or life.  

The small kindness shown to me every day from some of Rye and Reeds friends; a story of Rye or Rye and Reed that comes late at night in messenger.  The good stories, of good things and good times.  The Giver story.  The 4 Wheeler jump video.  The "mat shot" video. The wedding toasts that remember Rye as part of the group even though now in spirit.  The original picture of happy guys that is one of my favorites, so that I would have the best quality picture. Which I have downloaded incorrectly here so this is not the best one!!! All Good as they say!

The text to ask how I am doing out of the blue when people know somehow that I am having a struggle.  Or sometimes even when I am not - just that little "ping" of kindness during the day (or night) that lets me know you are there.

The CD with a beautiful song of loss and hope sent with a beautiful note at Christmas time - one of the hardest times for a loss parent.Which I play throughout the year when  need to hear that I am not alone.

The kindness of people at the Garden of Reflection where we placed the plaque for Rye.  I am in awe of them every day that they can help families to do that "hard thing" with such kindness and gentle grace.  I thank you for being kind.

To those who came with me to do this "hard thing" knowing that there would probably be a melt down and ugly crying and the whole shebang (bonus for you - there wasn't)! Thank you for being there and being kind.

The kindness of the uncle who took so many wonderful pictures of both of the boys and was more than generous with his gift, his home, his time and his heart.  I thank you deeply!

Rye did not think it nearly as funny as I did - pretending to hold him under the hot tub!

I have been working hard lately to make sure I notice and recognize the signs, the messages, and the kindnesses all around us.  I am trying to "raise my vibe" so to speak so that I can honor the life that I have.  It is one of my "hard things".  I am doing a better job of it, but I have not been as mindful of the "thank you" part of the picture.

It took "not so crappy British TV" to make me recognize that I owe so many thank you's - all around the world and even to the Universe.  If you don't recognize your part in this post, please know that I thank you for your kindness - I just didn't have room to write them all here - it would take days to read a post that long!

I hope that you have many kindnesses in your life, and I hope that you are able to recognize them as the blessings that they are.

Blessed Be and Be Kind!

Google - What am I having for dinner?

I have been really struggling lately to come up with great recipes that everyone will like - or that won't leave so much leftovers that Hubby and I can't eat it all or even freeze it all when there are no kids on our horizon (Reedo being out of town, or staying at his own place and not raiding our fridge)!  There are rules to be followed about what and how things get cooked - not too much fish, no "slimy chicken" (meaning has to have crispy crust or skin), and not too much "soupy" items.  We aren't really picky - we just like what we like and we like good food!

I have also been trying to eat more veggies, and produce from our garden which has done really well this year - especially in the cabbage and squash and green bean categories!

Menu board in the baking zone of the kitchen - its a hot mess right now!  Processing apples, berries, beans and tons of cabbage!  Stay tuned for kraut making soon!

So on a whim and jokingly, I Googled the main ingredients I had on hand (pork ribs, cabbage, and squash) and said "What am I having for dinner?"

Here is what came up!

It really works!  I actually made the Country Pork Ribs and Cabbage and it was delicious!  We used the squash for a side dish.  Definitely a keeper and we even ate the leftovers!  It used up some of the bounty from the garden in a great way and was easy to prepare.  So far this week I have made two new recipes that I have found this way.  It's a little like a Chopped mystery basket except that you get to choose the ingredients!  It seems to work for just about any ingredient - there are an overwhelming amount of chicken recipes - and you can even find hot pepper recipes!  I also added "for two" at the end of part of them and that worked well for some smaller portion recipes.

By the way - Mucho Nacho Peppers are a Jalapeno varietal - they are mucho hotter though!  Tasty but hot!

I'm not always sure that "Dr. Google" knows what he is talking about when I am looking up symptoms, (we've all done it!) but I sure am liking "Chef Google" and his big ideas today!

Give it a try with some of the things from your garden, fridge or freezer (you can even Google leftovers that you have to re-purpose them)!

Enjoy the process, the produce and the pleasure of the new that you will add to your menu!

Be well and Blessed be!

Shine Not Burn - Luceo Non Uro - the 4th year

The Humphreys story is an interesting one.  The last name comes from the Viking/Norsk Hun-Frid meaning "Peaceful Bear". Generations of strong people thrown into some fray or another all throughout their history.  Stories of Clans and Crests, and Motto's and of living up to those.  Stories of exile and exit.  Stories of families, and maybe not family.  Love and loss.  It has been 4 years now since we lost you Rye, my heart is still broken - along with your dad and brothers, and the ancestors have been talking.

I know you have seen this picture before in my blog, but this time it is for a different purpose.  The tattoo on his arm is a Celtic cross with the initials of his family members in the top three points, and in the banner that swirls around it are the words "Luceo non Uro".  Shine not burn.  That is the Humphreys family motto - the second one actually.  Part of the alleged story of the ancestors is that the Humphreys fought alongside Robert the Bruce in Scotland (hence the Scottish spelling of Humphreys).  The family was granted land by The Bruce and had a crest and a motto "the true man loves his country".  A proud motto for a proud people.

Then came the wars and the turmoil and the betrayal.  Culloden, Falkirk, Bannockburn and on it went as though it would never end.  When the battles finally ended there were only three Humphreys men left and they were exiled from Scotland.  One is said to have gone to France, but the other two landed in Nova Scotia, and then on to Ohio and Pennsylvania.  

The reason for the change in the motto, and the crest, was the betrayal and exile and the loss.  Shine not burn.  Rye embraced that motto and really tried to live it.  I believe he still does now - shine.  Shine on all of us, and on others in the world.

We placed a memorial plaque for you this year at the Garden of Reflection in Wasilla.  I know you were there - you brought us lots of messages from you and signs that you were there!  

This Is How We Roll played on the Spotify on the way in the car, along with Mud on the Tires, and some of the other songs that let me know you were rollin' with me.

I took a wrong turn getting to the parking lot and when I was pulling back onto the road to make the correct turn there was our friend A.  The one I was so worried about and asked you to intervene with.  To go where only angels can go and whisper in the ear of a boy who couldn't hear the voices of those here on earth, crying for him.  He has been sober now for about a year and he looked wonderful.  He hugged me in the middle of the intersection, in a pandemic, and it was so good.

When I pulled into the parking lot at the garden, there were at least 40 dragonflies buzzing about, flitting among the cars and the trees and shrubs.  Noisy and almost vocal.  Singing a song from you.  Aunt Dee brought me a Dragonfly Wind Chime made from old spoons  - it was supposed to be for another time and didn't get to me until today.  Perfect.

And then there was this - the shoes.... You always wore Doc Martens just like this.  I got to the parking lot early and as I was leaning on the front of the car enjoying the beautiful sun, a group of teenagers came from the direction of the park and one young man yelled "Do you want some shoes?"  I did NOT know these kids!!!  I said "Why are you giving away shoes?  You arent trying to give me hot shoes are you?" and he said " I don't need them - they are size 11 (your size) and a guy just gave them to me for letting him use my phone!"  They are the exact kind of Doc's that you wore all the time!  There were always 10 darn pairs of shoes in the entryway and I was always yelling about the "Giant Shoes" in the doorway!  Serves me right - right?

We had quite a group of family there from both sides.  It took us about 8 tries to get a good picture of all of us - as per our usual picture taking routine!  Nana had her mouth open in some - me too - talking of course.  Aunt Chelle and Karen were adjusting their shades in others. Thank goodness for Dawn taking pictures for us!  I wore your Hurley shirt and I held my smile the whole time and didn't even have a meltdown.  Yes - I was surprised too!

The garden after everyone had gone.  It really is a beautiful place.  Peaceful and serene.  A place that you would love too.  I went back to see if I could see you there again.  So I could feel you there wrapping me up.  To breathe some more in a space where my heart could rest.  To hear the Dragonflies and the breeze - ever so light, and the waterfall.

We keep marching on.  Into another year.  Still wondering what happened and why, but mostly able to do the things we are supposed to do, most of the time, even without you still.  I don't want to think about starting the 5th year.  4 years seems like forever, yet short.  A milestone that no parent should ever have to reach, and here we are.  Reflecting on you, and marching.

Blessed be until we meet again sweet Bugman.

Shine On!

Love your people!

When life hands you lemons - use your garlic smasher!

 I have been trying to be better about making my menu's and having a grocery list ready to go that will work with my menu's as of late.  I am limiting time in the grocery store and I am down to about once about every 10 days most of the time.  Sh*t happens though and we sometimes have to go more, but for the most part we're keeping it down.  One of the things always on the list are lemons.  We use a ton of them!

There above you can see a couple in the bowl and one on the counter that I have used a bit of the zest from.

I have a few lemon/rind "zesters", but they all take forever and really are a pain to work with and actually get the zest out of the holes and the tool.  Just a pain!

The one you see above with the green is a Microplaner that works great for some things but for lemon and lime zest it just falls a little short.  The silver thing that looks like it belongs in a ladies doctor office is actually a fantastic garlic smasher!  It's my favorite Pampered Chef item of all time and I have two of them - identical!

So I was making a recipe of "Ale Sauced Pork and Veggies" and it calls for a tablespoon of fine lemon zest.  I didn't have time for all the work it took for the zesting part as I had forgotten about the  recipe and had to do it quickly so it could marinate overnight before going in the crock pot the next morning - it was already late on a work night!  The recipe isn't mine so I have included the link above (click on the recipe name) so you can get it if you would like!

You an see the lemon peel slivers on the cutting board in between the smasher handles.  It takes a lot of slicing and dicing to get fine lemon peel when the microplaner won't do the job.....

Enter the garlic smasher!

If a recipe calls for three cloves of garlic we use 6.  Just sayin!  In the above photo you can see a clove of garlic in the smasher.  I took part of the lemon peel that I had knife cut off the lemon and was chopping and I just put it in the garlic smasher with the cloves of garlic.
Then I smashed away and just scraped the whole lot into the bag with the meat!  It worked perfectly!  The lemon rind smashed through just like garlic does and was a really fine texture.  I did run just lemon peel through to see if it would work without the garlic - it does!  All Good!

There it is in all its deliciousness in the bag!  Ready to marinate.  This recipe calls for pork riblets or some such thing, but I had a bag of what we call "pork stew ends" which is really just trim from our pork roasts that we cut and freeze, so there was a bit of that fatty pork and some bits that might not otherwise get used.  This recipe is no worries for any meat that might be tough - I think it would work fine with beef as well.

Yes - I used Alaska Amber beer in my recipe.  Totally worth it - and it was taking up some valuable shelf space in the pantry that I needed for olive oil!  Kind of kidding there - but Amber is a good beer to drink or cook with.

Here it is ready for the meat to be poured on top and cook away while I work!  I did also add onion to the recipe - not sure who would make a recipe with pork, potatoes and carrots and no onions - regardless if it has beer!  Definitely not an Irish or a Scot!  Still all good and this recipe is delicious!  It's like a stew for sure - make you some Hard Lemon Biscuits to serve with it (aka 7-up Biscuits)!

My point is that the garlic smasher saves the day and makes life easier all the way around!

I hope you have one to make your day!  I encourage you to use the tools you have in new ways to solve the worlds problems - even if it is just how to zest lemon quickly!

Be well and Blessed Be!