The Worst Year

 2020 has been a heck of a year!  We have all heard and seen the horrors of 2020.  All of the anxiety, the strife of the election and the Covid illness rate and of the losses of lives, businesses, families, culture and sense of security even, and as we move into 2021 I think we are all releived to be here on the cusp of the new year.  We have heard many say that this was the worst year ever, but as I reflected on the year that has just passed I have to say that it was far, far and
away not my worst year.  Not.  Even. Close!

Photo Credit Ron Nicoll Photography

All of the loss mothers will tell you that 2020 was not their worst year, unless 2020 was the year that took their child.  They will all say that their worst year was the year that their child died.  

Mine is 2016.  The. Very. Worst. Year.  The year that Rye was taken and turned our lives upside down and sideways with no explanation and no reason.

Photo Credit Chugach Peaks Photography

I have other memories of that year - Meemaw (Hubby's Gramma) came for Rye's wedding and we got really good family pictures there at Alyeska.  

We had a fun trip to New Jersey - our last family trip with Rye.

Hubby's mom was still living then, fighting the cancer as hard as she could. 

We went on 4th of July and made many memories with Rye and all the kids at the cabin.

Reed grew healthy and got taller than everyone, and got his Alaska Fish Guiding license.

There were some things to be grateful for in that year.

But it was the very worst year ever for me, and even with the good things whenever I hear 2016 it hits me like a ton of bricks and makes me forget my own name.  It takes me right back to that place in time when the phone rang and ended life as we knew it!

For me, 2020 was just a regular year, no better no worse than all of the others except for 2016.  There were things to be grateful for this year as well.  

Reed is working and thriving and living and doing great and wonderful things, with friends and family!

We were considered "essential" both for our business and for my job so we got to keep working.

My family was able to be mostly healthy, and those who got Covid survived it.

I was able to quilt more this year than ever before because we had to stay home.

One of my Covid scrap quilts - you will see this later in the blog with a description.

I got to write some of the things that I needed to say out loud and maybe never to anyone in person, just have it on the paper and out of my head, threatening my life.  Paper emotional vomit.  Like this, only darker and more intense.  Yes it is there -still - from 2016; the very worst year.

I saw many "gratefulness challenges" on social media pages in 2020 to remind us that there was light in the darkness and hope on the horizon.  That there were people there for us, holding us up and holding us in hope. I was grateful for those posts also.  These are from a friend at the end of the year - one whose struggle is also very real and physical, emotional, spiritual and hard.

Some of my young friends got first houses and had first babies, and while bittersweet for me it was wonderful to see them so joyful.

So as you reflect on your 2020, I hope that it did not go down as your worst year and that you are able to see some of the good that came with all the crazy, and as we ease into 2021 I hope that you are blessed with your best year ever!

Dream Big and Blessed Be!

Of Wonder and Light

Our local NANA Construction company is company that makes (builds) North Slope Oil Field equipment and housing modules.  They provide local jobs to our community and  they also support the community in other ways.  A couple of weeks ago I was driving by and saw their crane set up and holding a strange contraption.  Being in the drilling industry I can recognize a lot of the equipment that gets built and held by a crane, but this I did not recognize!

This sits on Big Lake Road. The main road into our community and the one just about everyone takes to get into Big Lake.  Hundreds of cars per day pass this contraption.

I looked underneath and though it was a cage of some type.  Maybe a new fangled crab trap or other marine net trap?  It hung there for a few days until.....

They lit it up!  Literally lit it up!

A Beautiful lighted contribution to the community for all to see and enjoy. 

Happy New Year and Blessed Be!

 

Gifty Goodies!

 This year at the school we were so happy to see the Christmas break that I think most of us just went home and collapsed in a heap!  I did at least!  I needed that nap so so bad!  We have been "at school" in building since the middle of August with only two breif closures that we did "remote learning".  It has been so hard and stressful for us, for the kids, and for the parents too.

We had sort of a "fun day" at the school with the kids for the last day and it was nice to see that there could still be some joy to be found with the kids - socially distant and mask wearing all the while.  We had classrooms with board games, and some with movies, and some with crafts projects, as well as Gingerbread House making!  So Fun!  We also had a contest for door decorating - My door won a prize!

I did not decorate my door - the young man you see above did - he has done it for the past couple of years and we (he) always are in the top three!  In case  you cant tell that is an elfen ski slope complete with lifts and snow drifts and and a ski lodge!  My door won second!  

We also had a "Secret Santa" gift exchange this year among the staff at the school, but I had already started making some gifts for some of my people (stay tuned for those) so I didnt really do that, but I did get some wonderful gifts from some of my peeps that I thought I would share with you!

My people know me well!  These won't break the bank but they are gifts of the heart!  Tea and Chocolate and a little popcorn and you can't go wrong!

The popcorn bag says "Here's to a Poppin Winter Break" and the Cocoa packet is a wonderful "Melted Chocolate Snowman"  With all the fixins!  

This is parts of a couple different packages with treats in them, but they all warmed my tired heart and filled my bucket with joy!  

When I got home and realized I get to have a few days off, I got started on some gifty things that will go to family members and friends, or will be stocking stuffers.  I thought I would show you a few more gifts that don't break the bank and will warm hearts too!

These little jars are infused honey.  There is Rosemary, Thyme, and Sage honey and I printed out little labels to show what can be done with these.  All three of these can be used as cough medicines in some way, or in recipes! 

Then I realized how huge the tag labels were and I reprinted them so they would fit the jars better. 

These are simple little gifts to make.  Some small jars with lids that wont leak, some raw honey and some fresh or dried herbs.  I grew these herbs in my garden, and in the indoor garden window.  Smash the herbs a little to start releasing the oils and place them in the jar (about 1/4 full for dried herbs and half full for fresh).  Cover the herbs with the honey and stir to remove air bubbles.  Finish filling the jar and stir again to remove air.  Let sit in a warm spot for a few weeks to infuse, label the jar and put a bow on top - gift away!

Here is one of the labels - I knew most of this information but Google has tons too.

Rosemary Infused Honey

Ingredients; Raw Honey, Fresh Rosemary

Rosemary honey is so versatile!  Rosemary is a memory herb, providing clarity of thought and easy retrieval of memories. It is also an immune and circulatory booster, and helps relieve muscle pain.

Use it in tea, or just by the teaspoonful!

Also useful in dressing, BBQ, chicken, pork and the list is endless!

Check out Country Living Apple Pie with Rosemary Honey recipe for something new and tasty!

Here is another easy gifty idea that makes a nice change from all the sweets at Christmas and the holidays.  It makes a good hearty meal and a pretty jar on top of that!

Cowboy Beans!

You can review the recipe on my earlier post here.  It is a staple here at the farm and we have these often, even in the summer.  Works great in a crock pot or in a Dutch oven in the oven and would even work on a wood stove.

All it takes are a couple of jars, some dry beans, and a spice packet (check the recipe for ingredients).  I use the little "snack" bags that are zip top bags to put the spices in.  You can easily add this to a neighbors or co-workers gift bag, or give one to a family you know has a need, and a lot of mouths to feed!

  

If they might not have all the ingredients, it would also be easy to build a gift basket with the ingredients as a gift - leftover meat goes well with this one too!  The jar on the left is a double batch for a bigger family.

Ill have some "quilty" gifts to show you later - might not be before Christmas, but it will give you a head start on next year!

I won't lie....the Holiday season is still VERY hard for all of us here.  We try to keep marching and put smiles on our faces and do the things we are "supposed" to do.  We do our best and that is all we can do.  It is okay if that is all you can do too.  

I hope your holidays are warm and wonderful, and that you have enough.

May 2021 be better and not the drunk sibling of 2020!

Blessed be.

Daily Affirmations - the Struggle is Real!

 This past week and weekend I had the opportunity to ....stay home some more!!!  Of Course!  The weather was crappy and our school was closed again - I work at home when that happens, using all sorts of technology that may or may not work correctly where I live, or when the weather is terrible! On the weekends and after hours, my time is mine and there is so much to do and so little time!!  I was feeling a bit "frenetic" as I call it and I knew I was headed for a meltdown if I didn't get my poop in a group so to speak!

This is what it looks like at the farm right now - yes that is snow and what you cant see in the picture is that it is raining! On top of the snow!  Then it snows some more!  Then it rains again!  So Frustrating!

So I got out my "Gifts of the Goddess" cards and decided I should pull a card for inspiration for the day.  I already had at least four lists on my desks and just couldnt get to a space where I could settle down and get some of the things crossed off of them.  These are daily affirmation type cards by Amy Zerner and Monte Farber.

As I pulled a card and looked at it, I kept feeling like I needed to pull another.  Not sure if I just wasn't in the zone at the time or maybe I wasn't listening the way I needed to about what card I needed, or that I just couldn't settle down and relax into the vibe,  but I ended up pulling 7 cards!  Yes that is a 7!  One is behind another in the picture.  I decided in order to not get overwhelmed I better pare it down somehow so I went throught the 7 cards and felt my feelings as I read them and was able to pare it down to two for the day.

Here is what I ended up with:  " I am patient in the face of obstacles and delays"  and "I am flexible and can adapt to the challenges of our modern age"!  Perfect!

So the Patience card says "use this gift when you are upset because you.....are encountering situations that you obvoiusly have no control over at the time.  Patience is a great teacher - a sign of maturity and wisdom.  If approached with calm and patience, difficult situations have a remarkable way of working out".

SO... in addition to the weather,  here is one of the obstacles and delays that tested me this weekend!

Here are the two screws that fell out of my office chair for no reason at all whatsoever!  It took me only about half an hour to figure out where they came from and get the thing back together - should have been shorter but.... I have two dogs.  Nuff said.

Last week I also had fatal death of my cell phone.  Luckily I realized that it was dying and was able to save everything to the "cloud" (where ever that is).  I was able to get a new cell phone the next day, but now it is a learning curve again that I would like to have avioded.  

In addition, the Viking Queen sewing maching had to have a part ordered - I HAVE run 80 bobbins through it since April 18th.....so, yeah.....breakdown was probably overdue!  My Viking guy (Gary from Garys Sewing Works) was abe to talk me through the problem over the phone and I have the part on the way.  Still an obstacle that I am feeling thwarted by this week.  Even with back up machines!

The election has also been a stressor and a challenge this past week.  Just all jacked up!

Second card says "I am flexible and can adapt to the challenges of our modern age.  Use this gift when information overload, constant change,  and ....the rapid pace of modern life owerwhelm you.  Modern "convienences" have eliminated the cushion of time necessary to properly absorb and consider information and concepts.  To achieve true knowledge and wisdom, you must take time each day for quiet reflection".

So I stopped.  I stopped making lists and trying to follow them and I looked out at the beautiful snow that will protect my plants for the winter and I reflected.  I reflected on all that I have here in my warm house, with my winter herbs growing in the window.  I watched the landscape begin to look "a lot like Christmas", and as the flakes slowly floated down, I rested for a moment in peace.

I hope that you can find the time to reflect in the coming days, and to get to a place of peace in turmoil.

Blessed be.